Horse Nonsense

There's seldom a ranch in cinema that isn't under threat of being given up or taken away, and the McLaughlin ranch is no exception. Rob McLaughlin (Tim McGraw) would prefer to keep it, but is under considerable financial strain, mostly because he's paying for his daughter Katy (Alison Lohman) to go to boarding school. Katy's failing school because she would rather stay at the ranch. Her brother, Howard (Ryan Kwanten), on the other hand, has lost his taste for ranch life and would prefer to not follow in his father's footsteps. If you're paying attention, it's obvious from the opening credits on that all these puzzle pieces of character motivation can be easily assembled to solve each problem, creating a perfect portrait of old-fashioned, Midwestern bliss.

So what's the holdup? Well, Rob is arbitrarily obstinate (otherwise, there wouldn't be a movie). Then there's the horse—a wild mustang we know Katy's gentle heart will inevitably tame, despite her father's resistance. This pads the film with endless sequences of Rob forbidding Katy to ride the horse, Katy riding the horse anyway, Rob taking the horse away, Katy getting it back, etc. Then there are the speeches. The frequency with which these people stand in front of breathtaking vistas delivering orations about things like "the wild, untamed spirit within" leads to the film feeling like the motion-picture equivalent of one of those motivational posters.

Michael Mayer directs the whole affair like a rider who knows his horse will find its way home even if he sits there doing nothing. Some people simply love horses, and this film's got a beauty. The locations are so gorgeous you could drop the camera anywhere and have the result hailed as brilliant cinematography. And the old-fashioned, anti-modern, America's-Heartland values are so clichéd and burned into our collective psyches, we naturally cheer when these characters scornfully rebuke the type of life the rest of us are, in fact, living, and in some cases, even enjoying.

Editor's note: The actual review ends there. The reviewer appended the following comment to the editor; we pass it along here for the sake of balance.

You should know that my opinion on this film differed significantly from that of most audience members. In case you want something a little more impartial, here's a review from the perspective of the audience at the screening:

"The horses were so pretty! When that horse got hurt, I cried. Y'know? Because it was so pretty! The cinematography was beautiful. I guess because they did most of it outdoors, and, well, the outdoors is beautiful. Tim McGraw did such a good job, too! I totally believe he was a guy who would wear a cowboy hat. You know I have all his albums? Anyway, back to the review. The horses were so pretty!"

Feel free to use either review. The audience version may need to be expanded a little. Just put in more references to horses. Lunch this week?