“It seems more like cooperative pianos than dueling pianos,” I say shortly after my friend and I sit down at a table at Napoleon’s Lounge in the Paris casino—a champagne bar that features dueling piano players. She probably agrees, having already noted that the curved backs of the two grand pianos fit together in a rather cooperative yin and yang formation.
Ah, but the night is young. One of the piano players—Dave, from Chicago—takes a break and is replaced by a woman who does a mean Janis Joplin impression, belting out a progressively rowdy version of “Me and Bobby McGee.” But it’s when the two pianists begin to play “Great Balls of Fire”—and Billy, the rival pianist, appears to play a portion with his, well ... great balls of fire—that the battle of the sexes begins.
Miss Joplin begins to pound out her own version of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive,” and Billy yells, “What is this?! For $10, I will play Aerosmith!” A member of the audience produces the money, and Miss Joplin’s song is cut short in favor of a manlier song.
At this point, she presses the feminine half of the audience—the clear majority in this predominately over-40 crowd—to cough up $20 in order to win her song back. Two verses into Billy’s song, a woman complies, and it’s back to Gloria Gaynor—albeit with racier lyrics. Without being too explicit, she alludes to a bedroom act performed by a man who is so inadequate, he requires the additional use of his fingers.
“For $24 I will play AC/DC!” Billy quickly chimes in, even playing a few sample bars.
“Huh. This is quite the racket they’ve got going here,” I comment.
Alas, a 20 and four ones proves too pricey for the audience, and Miss Joplin finishes her song to enthusiastic applause. She gives up her seat to Dave, who goes back into co-op mode with Billy with a Billy Joel song, and my friend and I decide to venture over to the New York-New York casino to check out its piano bar.
At the Bar at Times Square we’re met by a rather steep cover charge—$10 to stand and $20 for a table—and we opt for standing room, which quickly proves to be a good choice, since the sitting crowd seems surprisingly subdued and the standing crowd much more energetic. The place is packed to capacity with a much younger audience than we found at Napoleon’s. We’re surrounded by straight guys who’ve reached that specific state of drunkenness where it’s okay to put your arm around your straight buddy and let him know how much you love him.
From this side of the rowdy bar, we’re forced to look at a TV to see the dueling piano players, who also happen to be belting out a Billy Joel tune. Joel is, after all, the Piano Man.
On the TV screen, a groom-to-be, shirt unbuttoned, takes a seat beside the pianos for his bachelor-party lap dance. The raciness of the lyrics at Napoleon’s appear to be physically manifesting here in Times Square. After his lap dance, the partially disrobed bachelor even returns the favor to his dancer, gyrating on her lap. The soberer members of the crowd watch with jaws agape.
“Wow,” I say, “a piano used to seem like such a classy instrument.”
Napoleon's Lounge
Paris Hotel & Casino,
940-7000
The Bar at Times Square
New York-New York Hotel & Casino,
740-6969