1
Listen closely. Tool is sold out, and Björk isn’t. That wouldn’t bother us too terribly much, except that Tool has done three Las Vegas shows in the past 19 months, whereas Ms. Guðmundsdóttir will perform her first-ever concert here ever. Not to mention, Tool has sold out Thursday and Friday nights, while tickets remain for Björk’s lone Saturday-night engagement. Go figure. Good news for you is, that means you can still actually get in ... unless, of course, you were hoping to see Tool. Björk with Ratatat. December 15, 8 p.m., $75-$125. The Pearl, 942-7777.
2
Git-r-done. Daniel Lawrence Whitney, aka Larry the Cable Guy, often says he’s “madder than.” As in, “I’s madder than a carload of queers getting pulled over for doin’ a 69 in a 55,” or, “I’s madder than a skinhead watching The Jeffersons.” If such enlightened cultural commentary doesn’t suit your particular sensibilities, he offers such Christmas tunes as “Titty Bars Christmas” and “I Pissed My Pants.” Larry the Cable Guy performs December 15 at 9 p.m., as the National Finals Rodeo leaves town, and commands $49.75, $61.75 and $79.75 per ticket. We’re not joking. Go to www.orleansarena.com or call 284-7777.
3
Ski. You endured the summer, one of the hottest on record here, and you made it through a fall so warm it didn’t seem like autumn at all. So yes, you’ve earned it: Go chill out in the snow. The Las Vegas Ski and Snowboard resort is now open and operating. Visit www.skilasvegas.com for directions, ticket prices and snow reports.
4
Spill fake blood. 
Lloyd Kaufman may be considered the patriarch of Z-grade trash cinema. But when he and his film company Troma Films come into town bringing along friends like the Toxic Avenger, God only knows how much fake blood and guts are going to spill down the streets. That’s why for the second year in a row, Tromapalooza comes to Las Vegas (December 15, 10 p.m.) and brings Kaufman, Toxie and a slew of local trash-ass punk acts including False Cause, Give ’Em Hell and more together for this night of loud music, bad costumes and a bobbing-for-body-parts contests. For $10, this promises to be a memorable evening. Bunkhouse, 124 S. 11th St., 384-4536.
5
Break out the tux. Beauty Bar’s Punk Rock Winter Formal aims to be all that and a pair of rented shoes. Featuring a Polaroid photo area for capturing those magic moments, spiked punch as only Beauty Bar can do and of course a crowned king and queen, this Saturday night’s event (December 15, 10 p.m.) will benefit a community production of The Vagina Monologues. Musical guests include The Supersuckers and The Holy Smokes as well as DJ sets by Rex Dart and Dave Prophet, $10 cover charge. 598-1965.
6
Get crackin’. 
If it’s The Nutcracker, it must be Christmas. Each year, ballet companies around the world pack ’em in for this magical tale. Some versions are Freudian, some have scary mice, some push the envelope with innovative concepts and staging. But Nevada Ballet Theater remembers that Christmas is a time for families and children, so this one is a cozy party with friends, family and dreams of enchanted lands. It doesn’t take any specific ballet knowledge to enjoy the ballet. The story is pretty straightforward, and NBT dancers are easy on the eyes. Plus, even if you’ve seen it a dozen times, there are so many parts in The Nutcracker, and so many performances, that tight scheduling results in the dancers popping up in unexpected place—principal dancers sometimes play minor character parts, and corps dancers often get a shot at soloist roles; it’s kind of like going to a baseball game and seeing a different guy playing shortstop. December 14-27, Judy Bayley Theatre at UNLV. Tickets 895-2787, $39-$72.