CONTRA 4 (T)
Rating: ****
Konami
Nintendo DS
If you add one part nostalgia to two parts testosterone, with a dash of 16-bit graphics, and a heaping spoonful of pure “badass,” the resulting cocktail would be Contra 4. I don’t know how or what games in the series Konami’s counting in order to call this Contra 4, but the important thing is that this game is a true sequel to the Contra you remember, which is to say that it’s pure, action-packed, sidescrolling running-and-gunning that’s as rewarding as it is punishing and will turn your Play-doh thumbs into granite.
It’s as simple as dodging bullets, grabbing weapons upgrades and blasting aliens to smithereens. You have a few lives to do this with, and if you squander them, it’s back to square one. As you’d expect (and demand) you can play this game solo or co-op—re-experiencing the nostalgic bliss that comes with arguing over who gets the ever-useful Spread Gun. There are hours of entertainment here, because attempting to beat this game on Medium without having practiced on Easy is like going to medical school without having bothered with K through 12th grade. In other words, Contra 4 will laugh at you. But when you do finally tackle the tougher difficulties with the skill necessary to beat them, the sensation you experience cannot be described with any modern term. You have to go all the way back to 1988 and describe it as “totally radical.”
SONIC RIVALS 2 (E)
Rating: **1/2
Sega
PlayStation Portable
So many of Sonic’s games suck, I swear that sometimes the only reason he’s running so fast is to get through the torment as quickly as possible. This makes Sonic Rivals 2 something of an anomaly. See, the bulk of the gameplay is actually pretty good, but the fast-paced core levels are punctuated with tedious and frustrating boss battles. It’ll make you wish that Sonic would slow down between bosses and maybe stop to tie his shoelaces.
WORDJONG (E)
Rating: ***1/2
Destineer
Nintendo DS
For those who haven’t played WordJong before, it’s basically
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE: ZOMBIE NINJA PRO-AM (M)
Rating: *
Midway
PlayStation 2
If the self-referential, fourth wall-breaking Simpsons Game was an in-joke, then Zombie Ninja Pro-Am is a cruel prank. Both games mock the clichés and annoyances of video games, but The Simpsons managed to do it without being painful. This game combines sub-par golf gameplay with a broken battle system and an infuriating racing component. If you’re a hardcore Aqua Teen Hunger Force fan, buy it for Christmas for someone you don’t like.
When Las Vegas Weekly contributor Matthew Scott Hunter realized his career as a lab technician was seriously interfering with his gaming, he pink-slipped himself into a successful career as a freelance writer. Bug the hell out of him at [email protected]