Idiot Day
I have come to the conclusion that Tuesday, December 18 must have officially been “Idiot Day.”
It started with getting honked at in the parking garage at Premium Outlets. Whilst minding my own business, walking briskly through a parking garage I was rudely and loudly honked at by a wretched yellow Volkswagen Bug that had snuck up behind me. Oh, well you were walking in the middle of the road, you’re probably thinking. No. I was not. I was walking on the side of the parking garage closest to my car. If ANYone has EVER been in a parking garage you would know that there is NO shoulder and if pedestrians are present you have to make a slight adjustment to the linear path you may have been driving. (Devastating, I know.) After suffering a minor heart attack I turned around to see a woman in her 20s staring at me from under a putrid yellow shell. “THERE’S NO OTHER CARS!” I yelled at her and motioned to the entire unused portion of the left half of the parking garage.
Seriously. If this parking garage isn’t big enough for myself and you, ugly yellow bug, then: a) you’re an idiot, and, b) do us all a favor: drive off the side of it.
I have had approximately three cars haul ass in front of me today, and then slam on their brakes. (Real effective. Got them … oh, wait … nowhere.) About got them in my lap is what it about got them.
Additionally, my current roommate thinks he owns me. This has slowly been developing over the past couple months and I think you probably know that if I don’t take being honked at well, I certainly don’t take being ordered around well. Which is unfortunate because I am the personality people like to power trip. Unfortunate for them, I mean. Primarily because I don’t get real affected by people being ridiculous. Irritated? Definitely. Irritated enough for them to end up in my column. But affected, no. So they end up having to escalate and escalate until they practically explode trying relentlessly to push my buttons. (Like any well adjusted person would do.) I told my roommate he needs to treat me respectfully so he said “I expect you out by January 18 12:00 p.m.” Earth shattering, right? Because who wants to live with someone that acts like that anyway? No … please no … take me back. I don’t deal with enough crap during the course of my day.
Precocious entrepreneur, workaholic and a rabid perfectionist Crystal Starlight knows a thing or two about getting ahead at a young age. Email her at [email protected]