NOISE

Occasionally, good things happen to bad albums. And while we'd never recommend buying these discs just to get one track, if you already do own them, we advise saving the usable bits on your computer or MP3 player before jettisoning them from your collection.

1 Sebadoh, "It's All You" (The Sebadoh, 1999) The indie rockers' last studio gasp opens with this sensory rush before dissolving into ordinariness.

2 Oasis, "Roll it Over" (Standing on the Shoulder of Giants, 2000) Building and crashing like waves, the track concedes to forces of nature bigger than even Noel Gallagher's mouth.

3 David Gilmour, "There's No Way Out of Here" (David Gilmour, 1978) Worthy of the mighty Floyd, unlike the rest of this solo debut.

4 Metallica, "Frantic" (St. Anger, 2003) What therapy? "Frantic" is proof that some demons are better unleashed through rocking than talking.

5 Beastie Boys, "An Open Letter to NYC" (To the 5 Boroughs, 2004) Rolling Stone review to the contrary, the only five-star song on this clunker.

6 Aerosmith, "Jailbait" (Rock in a Hard Place, 1982) Steven Tyler scats, struts and shrieks, backed by a bluesy beat and guitar harmonies so blistering you'd never guess they weren't Joe Perry's.

7 Jethro Tull, "Under Wraps No. 2" (Under Wraps, 1984) A nimble acoustic respite from a clownish synth barrage.

8 Jon Bon Jovi, "Blaze of Glory" (Blaze Of Glory: Songs Written and Performed by Jon Bon Jovi, Inspired by the Film Young Guns II, 1990) Jangly guitars, soaring choruses, sprawling narrative—it's almost like Jon is relevant again.

9 The Ramones, "My Brain is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes to Bitburg)" (Animal Boy, 1986) Marooned amid 11 also-rans, this anti-Reagan rant ranks among the best late-era Ramones cuts.

10 Lou Reed, "Metal Machine Music Part IV" (Metal Machine Music, 1975) Part IV means it's almost over, and being over is the highlight of this whole Metal Machine Mess.

The Samantha Fox of queer art disco, Diamond Beats is not only known for galloping, slutty, sweaty tracks, she's also a sex worker who runs a porn site featuring all-natural, non-mainstream, mostly amateur models.

At what point did your music and your sex work intersect, and what prompted that?

I never intended them to intersect, but I suppose it's unavoidable since in my music, I'm writing about my life. I intended Diamond Beats to be my escape from such a public sexual role—a literal stripping of the alter ego, a revelation of the girl behind the photos, behind the peepshow glass. So I talk about my work a lot in my music but I guess I have been trying to keep them as separate as possible ... I would actually prefer to not be perceived so much as a "sexy" act, but a stripping of a sex worker's "sexiness" into something more real and revealing.

Do you make a living off this?

No, in fact, I spend the living I make elsewhere supporting these projects. [My porn site] NoFauxxx.com pays for itself, though, and as long as it's self-sufficient, I'm happy to keep doing it. With the music, nothing could stop me even if I tried, even if nobody was listening.

Is there much fan crossover between the two spheres of your life?

There are definitely No Fauxxx fans who listen to my music and come to my shows. I think they're interested in how I reveal myself creatively, outside of the sex industry.

What inspires you?

The deconstruction of alter egos, the telling of secrets and the sweet whispers of the night.

Has the supergroup declined since the days of Cream and CSNY?

2000 Mer de Noms, A Perfect Circle

Parent Bands: Tool, Marilyn Manson, Smashing Pumpkins

Verdict: Great fun while it lasted.

2002 Audioslave, Audioslave

Parent Bands: Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine

Verdict: Surprisingly timeless, but it's difficult to overlook the worst band name of all time.

2004 Contraband, Velvet Revolver

Parent Bands: Stone Temple Pilots, Guns N' Roses

Verdict: Somewhat defanged considering the pedigree.

2006 We Don't Need to Whisper, Angles and Airwaves

Parent Bands: Blink-182, The Offspring, The Distillers

Verdict: Tom DeLonge's ego takes a massive hit.

2006 Broken Boy Soldiers, The Raconteurs

Parent Bands: The White Stripes, The Greenhornes, Brendan Benson

Verdict: Great tunes, but we miss Meg.

2006 Rock Star Supernova, Rock Star Supernova

Parent Bands: Mötley Crüe, Guns N' Roses, Metallica

Verdict: Reality TV and the eyeliner industry will never be the same.

2006 Army of Anyone, Army of Anyone

Parent Bands: Stone Temple Pilots, Filter

Verdict: Live shows dust off Filter's "Take a Picture," "Hey Man, Nice Shot" and "Welcome to the Fold" and STP's "Vasoline," "Big Bang Baby" and "Piece of Pie"? Count us in.

Chroma (2 stars)
What's in a name? That which we call pop-punk by any other name would sound as generic. Earnest vocals, furious guitars and shout-along choruses are in full force, as are references to nights on rooftops, splitting town and endless waiting. What's lacking is any sense of emotional poetry.