The Rev. George Chaanine, priest at Our Lady of Las Vegas, allegedly smashed a wine bottle over the head of a parishioner, sexually assaulted her and skipped town. He made America's Most Wanted before getting nabbed near Phoenix. Next, the Rev. Willie Davis—of Second Baptist Church, one of the largest and oldest churches in West Las Vegas—is being tried for fraud. Davis is alleged to have stolen $330,000 meant for building halfway houses. He asked for, and was denied, a three-month delay of his trial—because he has a bad heart.
Back to the Catholics: The Rev. Bill Kenny was relieved of his duties last week while he repents for allegedly finagling his way into an 89-year-old widow's inheritance and taking more than $300,000 for himself.
Then there's the ex-director of the Las Vegas chapter of the American Cancer Society, Willette Ballard, who last week was sentenced to six months of weekends in jail after embezzling $100,000 from the charity.
Lest we suppose it's only the good and righteous who attack and steal, check out the arena in which we expect to be defrauded, representative government: Former County Commissioner Lance Malone got six years—also last week, a banner week for the ethically retarded—for bribing other corrupt commissioners to vote in favor of a strip club's interests.
On top of all that: Gov. Jim Gibbons, fresh out of his alleged fondling of a drunken cocktail waitress scandal, turned up on Page 1 of the Wall Street Journal Thursday for allegedly taking gifts—a cruise, flights—in exchange for helping software company eTreppid Technologies secure classified military and civilian contracts while he was in Congress.
All of this has had the ill effect of marginalizing coverage of the ongoing evils of homeless people resting in Vegas' public parks. Worse, it nudges us to worry that we live in a world where all Miss Americas have a cache of nipple-licking photos and two-thirds of presidential aides have cause to be tried for treason. It's as if the slow rise of ethical absence nationwide has prompted a bit of panic in Vegas, where corruption is capital. (Gibbons alludes to the threatening possibility that ethical lapses may be too easy to come by in his denial of the Journal story: "You know if it can happen to me, it can happen to the ordinary citizen out there on the street.")
Obviously our leaders started feeling blue about our dwindling reputation as the corrupt city. How can Vegas market itself as bad if its version of bad is just good, clean, naked fun? Deep, psychotic scandals are the fabric of 21st-century America, from the defrauding of Katrina charities to invisible weapons of mass destruction. What if Vegas' storied corrupt past is too far gone? What if Vegas' under-the-table, dirty, cheating backroom-payoff, crunched-fingers and broken-necks past is so far lost that its reputation becomes ... adorable?
The bat-light shone some time last month. Community leaders responded in force: Shit, they're gaining on us. Steal something. That's accountability. And while it's handy to have politicians always lined up like infantry ready to take the first bullets, we should acknowledge the stellar contributions of the pious and their bad hearts, as well.
Last week was one that may be little noted in history, but it ought to be. A week in which accountability itself was subject to reinterpretation. Isn't it time for a mob hit?