1. In my Weight Watchers meetings, I told everyone I made my goal weight through diet and exercise, but in reality, I cut off one of my legs. No one noticed when I hopped up to the scale for my final weigh-in, though.
2. I still wet my bed during the night, and some days my cubicle during work.
3. I slept with a teddy bear until an embarrassingly old age. We broke it off after it got pregnant. That was quite the scandal in my conservative town.
4. Once, when my son ran away from home, I got a replacement kid hoping my dog, Skippy, wouldn’t notice.
5. I accidentally kissed a man once. After four years of a devoted, monogamous relationship with the guy, I ended that embarrassing incident once and for all, you can be sure.