Two weeks ago, Metro announced that it would be placing closed-circuit security cameras on the corner of the crime-ridden Fremont and 15th Streets in Downtown this August. The cameras are intended to diminish crime in the area and serve as a trial run for a more expansive network of closed-circuit cameras around the city.
But while civil libertarians and officials fight over the idea of Big Brother, here are some suggestions on how you can avoid looking like an idiot on Metro’s tapes
1. Be picky about your rent-a-friend. Fremont and 15th may be a great place to grab a date for the night, but with cameras watching your every move, be discerning. This is someone with whom you may spend years on YouTube.
2. Drug-dealing on the street is so 2000. Use Craigslist instead. Yeah, we know it’s easy to sling rock cocaine on the streets, but why not use the power of the Internet? Make thousands without getting out of bed, and at least the police will have to get a warrant before scoping out your deals.
3. Sure,it may look dumb, but that $4 glue-on handlebar moustache may save you a $4,000 bond when you stick up your next drunk scenester or tourist. Extra points for matching feathered wig and aviator sunglasses.
4. Just move all your drug-dealing, pimping, whoring and assault activities down a block to 16th Street instead.