Friday, May 18
PURE Nightclub
11:00 PM
Well, PURE did suck. I mean, getting in sucked. Getting in always sucks. Luckily my friend Vince works as a sponsorship liaison for athletic companies, so through him Mr. Olympia (Jay Cutler) was kind enough to hook up a lot of our club entries for the weekend. Once we made our way through the mass of people usually congregated outside this particular venue, we headed to the roof to enjoy the music. Four spilled drinks later (it’s inevitable at PURE) our other friend Jay (not Cutler) was reciting RENO 911 punch lines so well I thought I was going to die. Particularly because if THIS Jay told me he was Jay Cutler I probably would have believed him. It’s a very unique experience to see a six-foot bodybuilder impersonating flamboyant characters from Comedy Central.
“These are good people from Tacos Tacos Tacos Tacos, Terry! They did not have to take a felon! Two dollars, Terry? LOOK -- a burger combo is $4.09!”
“Well, first of all, a tug job doesn’t come with fries and a soda!"
Saturday, May 19
Harrah’s Hotel and Casino
The plan was again PURE, however, the five bottles and two tables we reserved were given away before we arrived fashionably late. I guess that’s what happens when you’re at E! Entertainment’s number-one-rated nightclub.
Vince and the rest of the Canadians went to Scores and Chad and I decided to meet up with his sister and brother-in-law at 1:00a.m. at a little place I like to call “The Crackhouse Café.” I don’t know what it’s really called, but it’s inside Harrah’s. We didn’t think much of it when his sister ordered a fruit plate and an olive disguised as a grape rolled onto the table. But when Richard ordered a hamburger called “The Gunslinger” and the waiter set it on the table, we decided to get a little more judgmental. After a few seconds of awkward silence, I finally decided to confirm what we were all trying to piece together.
“Richard, there’s no bun on your burger.” Indeed, the cook had somehow checked off on -- and the waiter somehow took no notice of -- a very naked hamburger sitting on a very lonely piece of lettuce and tomato.
At about 3:00 a.m. we rejoined the Canadians and made our usual (my usual) stop at Empire Ballroom. We were actually there the night before too. This time, though, Chad and I called it an early night and started heading home about the time the sun came up.
After all, I thought, next weekend is Memorial weekend.
Precocious entrepreneur, workaholic and a rabid perfectionist Crystal Starlight knows a thing or two about getting ahead at a young age. Email her at [email protected]