At least there's some hot, sweaty sex, although not nearly enough of it. Henry has his way with half the ladies at court even while he pines after the coy Anne, and his advisors and rivals have their share of affairs, too. The show is at its best when it's at its most lusty, with bosoms heaving and straining at corsets, but too often the most salacious scenes are cut short, and we're thrown back into the boring political machinations, with too many characters named Thomas, none of whose roles are especially clear.
And maybe it's just a reflection of the times, but these people are pretty much all conniving bastards, and it's hard to figure out whom to root for. Do we want Anne to seduce Henry? Her father is pushing her to get in the king's bed to advance his own political interests, while Henry is at least as concerned with producing the male heir that Catherine cannot give him as he is with romance. And so on for all the characters, all of whom are dubious and deceitful and selfish.
Which could have been entertaining if the show played up the soapy aspects that are the best parts of Rome. Instead it's mostly dull, and a little too desperate to make history seem cool while still being historical. "You think you know a story, but you only know how it ends," a voice-over proclaims during the opening credits. "To get to the heart of the story, you have to go back to the beginning." This kind of self-conscious straining for approval ("That fat guy in the portrait was cool, we swear!") infects the whole show, from Rhys Meyers' snarling lead performance to the overabundance of jousting scenes, no doubt meant to be exciting and kinetic, even though they're actually just horribly repetitive.
There are enough entertaining moments in The Tudors, though, that history buffs will probably find something worthwhile, if they can suppress their need for 100 percent accuracy. For everyone else, high school history class was likely sufficient.
The Tudors
(2 1/2 stars)