My Million Dollar Ideas --The Second Edition Pt 3: Pre-Incarceration Preventative Therapy
Quite self explanatory if I do say so myself. Everyone talks about how many new prisons America is forced to build and the overcrowding occurring in the ones we already have. The crime rate is unacceptable, the legal system doesn’t always catch the bad guys. Dateline MSNBC has a whole television show geared toward catching pedophiles that, sadly, never seems to run short on content.
I say start pulling weirdos off the street before they commit the crimes. No, I don’t mean Minority Report style -- and for good measure I came up with this idea way before I ever saw that movie. I may not be able to see into the future but I certainly know a weirdo when I see one. All we’d have to do is watch for the signs and immediately stick people in preventative therapy the second anyone starts throwing out red flags. Not only will we be preventing incarceration, but these people will probably come out much better adjusted than the rest of us. Who wouldn’t want that?
Now, theres two types of weirdos in this world: “probably harmless” and “criminal-to-be.” Differentiating between the two may be difficult, but not impossible.
Probably harmless:
1) People with mullets.
Although this implies our individual isn’t quite attuned to the normal social world, it doesn’t necessarily imply any criminal activity.
2) Older men that pick up on women in their 20s.
Certainly creepy, but illegal? No. Our 45-year-old subject may still wear an earring and refer to strangers as “baby” but don’t let his slightly tactless approach fool you. Generally, this guy won’t be waiting for you in the parking lot. He just never quite got over a bad divorce, or slightly delayed mid-life crisis.
Criminals-to-be:
1) Teenagers in the “Emo” stage.
Any kid that starts wearing skinning leg pants, eyeliner, long hair, and refers to themself as “emotional” (a.k.a “emo”) needs to be yanked off the streets of Vegas with a code red, level 5 emergency response. And I’m sure you know plenty of these kids.
“But Justin’s such a nice boy” you say. “Just because I don’t agree with his unique choices doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with him.
Uh- uh. No way do I believe that. On several occasions with emo-inclined individuals I can tell right away something’s amiss. Let’s just say a boy doesn’t call himself “emotional” if he’s living a drama-free, healthy existence.
Precocious entrepreneur, workaholic and a rabid perfectionist Crystal Starlight knows a thing or two about getting ahead at a young age. Email her at [email protected]