1.
Ride on. More than 40,000 bikers will flood the Las Vegas valley this weekend, from Thursday, September 27 until Sunday the 30th, as part of the 2007 BikeFest ... Events such as live music, bikini competitions and artistry-in-iron contests will take place throughout town, from Mandalay Bay to Hooters Hotel and Casino to Cashman Field. Check out www.lasvegasbikefest.com for specifics.
2.
Get Mad. He’s done everything onstage but tar and feather a dwarf. But don’t give Jeff Beacher, the city’s foremost walking publicity stunt, any ideas. He might start pricing down. Beacher’s Madhouse returns to the Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel, with special guest host Gary Dell’Abate from the Howard Stern show joining Beacher’s characteristically flavorful collection of misfits and ne’er-do-wells. Scheduled for the latest installment of the sensory-overload variety show is the launch of the Micro Unprofessional Fighting Federation (M.U.F.F.), which will be joined by the Karaoke Rock Star and Dance Idol contests, Beacher’s Babies cheerleading troupe, Tiny Kiss and the requisite magicians, stilt-walkers and scantily clad females. Gene Simmons, the bassist for the real Kiss, is also expected to infiltrate the Joint. Saturday, September 29, $60-$100, 699-7844.
3.
Listen closely. The Las Vegas Philharmonic kicks off its new season with Masterworks I, featuring guest artist Kiril Laskarov on the violin. This is music director and conductor David Itkin’s first season with the Phil, and expectations are high as he opens with Berlioz’s “Roman Carnival.” September 29, 8 p.m., Artemus W. Ham Concert Hall at UNLV. Single tickets range from $29 to $73. They are available by calling 895-ARTS (2787).
4.
Take in a show of strength. The battle of the bulges muscles its way into the Orleans Arena during Olympia Weekend, a three-day competition that showcases the top male and female bodybuilders in the world. Jay Cutler, a veritable legend in muscle competition who is also a Las Vegas resident, tops the field of glistening and grimacing combatants. September 28-30; tickets for the September 29 Mr. and Miss Olympia finals range from $54.50 to $212 and are available at www.orleansarena.com or at 284-7777.
5.
Get haunted. Yes, it’s been 25 years since that creepy little girl looked at the static on the TV and said, “They’re heeeeere!” In honor of the quarter-century anniversary of Tobe Hooper’s Poltergeist, the movie is getting a one-night-only theatrical re-release, so you can witness the terror visited on an unsuspecting suburban family in a restored print on the big screen. There’s also a 15-minute documentary on real-life hauntings, but we’re betting it’s not nearly as scary. October 4, 7:30 p.m., $10. Regal Cinemas Village Square & Colonnade locations. More info at fathomevents.com.
6.
Take a visual journey. French-Canadian filmmakers Mélanie Carrier and Olivier Higgins biked 5,000 miles across Mongolia, China, India and Tibet while creating Asiemut, an hourlong travelogue and meditation on humanity’s place in the world. They’ll bring the movie and a special multimedia presentation to the Big Springs Theater at the Springs Preserve, and be on-hand for a Q&A afterward. September 27, 7 p.m.; September 29, 2 p.m. $10 for members, $12 for non-members and $6.50 for children 17 and under. Call 822-7786 for more info.