NIGHTS: JOURNEY OF DREAMS (E)
Rating: **
Sega
Wii
I never played the original Nights: Into Dreams when it was released on Sega Saturn 11 years ago (I was too busy playing on game consoles with greater longevity). But now I’ve played the sequel, and I feel that I now know what it would be like to play the original…a decade late. The gameplay and story are so simplistic and antiquated, I almost feel like I could blow on my TV screen, thus removing a thick layer of dust that would make the primitive graphics look less fuzzy.
The game’s title and gameplay make it sound and feel like a nighttime sleep aid. An on-rails flying game where you pass through rings? Really? Isn’t that what we did for small bonuses in Star Fox 64? Didn’t the flying tutorial for Super Mario 64 have more complexity? And those games are two generations old. There are also some platforming segments to break up the monotony of the dull, virtually enemy-less flying levels, but (you guessed it!) they’re exceptionally old-fashioned as well. If for some reason, you feel overly nostalgic for the original, you might be able to eke some pleasure out of “dualizing” with the character Nights in order to battle the Nightmaren. Everyone else should just say nighty night to Nights.
MX VS. ATV UNTAMED (E)
Rating: ***
THQ
Xbox 360
The seventh offroad racing game from Rainbow Studios is suffering from exactly what you’d expect on the seventh lap around a dirt track: it’s stuck in the rut it dug during the first six laps. That’s not to say that the game isn’t taking the most effective route along the course. On the contrary, the finely-tuned control mechanics are still extremely forgiving for newcomers while offering perks for veterans with more finesse. But the franchise needs to show us some fancy new tricks, or gamers will start rooting for FlatOut, Dirt and Motorstorm to cross the finish line first.
SWASHBUCKLERS: BLUE VS. GREY (M)
Rating: *1/2
1C Company
PlayStation 2
I’d demand this game pay Sid Meier royalties if I thought it stood a chance of making any money. You sail up and down the coast pillaging and occasionally distracting yourself with a series of shooting and fencing mini-games. Sounds like Sid Meier’s Pirates!, right? No. Ironically, this is more like the pirated, knock-off version. Aside from its bizarre blend of Civil War-era cowboy antics mixed in with all the swashbuckling, this is an unoriginal bargain bin rip-off in every way.
LEFT BRAIN RIGHT BRAIN (E)
Rating: *1/2
Majesco Sales Inc.
Nintendo DS
This game would be insultingly simple if it didn’t ask you to handicap yourself. First, you play a series of low-rent Brain Age-style games with your right hand (assuming you’re right-handed). Piece of cake. Then the game asks you to play the same mini-games southpaw. Not so easy now, is it? Know what else would make an easy game challenging? Playing it blindfolded. Don’t you see? Playing games in the least natural way is fun!
When Las Vegas Weekly contributor Matthew Scott Hunter realized his career as a lab technician was seriously interfering with his gaming, he pink-slipped himself into a successful career as a freelance writer. Bug the hell out of him at [email protected]