Nightlife

Hey, DJ: (Don’t) play that song!

Tunes we never want to hear in clubs again

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Paul Oakenfold
Paul Oakenfold

1. Robin S., “Show Me Love,” (Show Me Love, 1993) No. 1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Music/Club Play list … over 15 years ago. Yet it’s still played multiple times in the course of one night. MAKE IT STOP.

2. Flo Rida featuring T-Pain, “Low” (Mail on Sunday, 2008) Shawty probably “hit the floor” from overheating in too-tight Apple Bottom Jeans or those boots with the fur. It can get hot in da club.

3. Darude, “Sandstorm,” (single, 1999; Before the Storm, 2001) You may not know the actual name of the track, but the second it’s mixed in, you have flashbacks to Ice Nightclub or the flair shows at Shadow Bar.

4. Fatman Scoop, “Be Faithful,” (single, 2003) We don’t have a $100 bill, nor do we even have a $10. Fatman, can we still put our hands up if we have 37 cents and an Altoid?

5. David Guetta, “Love is Gone,” (Pop Life, 2007) A classic example of something being “so two years ago.”

6. KiD CuDi, “Day ’n’ Night (Crookers Remix)” (single, 2008) The garage-style remix has a sick bassline, but the “Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, at night” makes us want to be like the lonely stoner in the song so we can forget the hook and sleep … at night.

7. 50 Cent, “In da Club,” (Get Rich or Die Tryin’, 2003) Shawty sure does like going to the club, ’cause everyone sings about it! A warning to any birthday girl who squeals when the song comes on: Google the lyrics.

8. Eric Prydz, “Pjanoo,” (single, 2008) It’s not that we don’t like the song, it’s just that everyone has played it so much it’s no fun anymore.

Callifornia Love - from YouTube.com

9. Bob Sinclar, “World Hold On (Children of the Sky,”) (Western Dream, 2006) A classic example of something being “so three years ago.” Plus, whistling in music always reminds us of Scorpions’ “Wind of Change,” and that’s disturbing.

10. 2Pac, “California Love,” (All Eyez on Me, 1996) There’s more than enough songs from 2Pac released after his death. Maybe clubs could play something new?

11. Basement Jaxx, “Where’s Your Head At?,” (Rooty, 2001) Even a caveman, no—wait, a monkey could spin this record. No, really. Watch the video.

12. Katy Perry, “I Kissed A Girl,” (One of the Boys, 2008) Doesn’t anyone remember Jill Sobule wrote a song called “I Kissed a Girl” in 1995? It’s not a new concept.

13. Rozalla, “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good),” (Everybody’s Free, 1991) We’ll buy the shots if someone can create a bizarre mash-up of “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)” with “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen).” Let the hilarity ensue.

14. Montell Jordan, “This Is How We Do It,” (This is How We Do It, 1995) This song was lame the first time we heard it on the school bus. It’s still lame.

15. Fedde Le Grande, “Put Your Hands Up 4 Detroit,” (single, 2006) Clubgoers must be exhausted from always being told to put their hands up. Some of us are trying to hold a drink or two.

Paul Oakenfold

Paul Oakenfold

16. CeCe Peniston, “Finally,” (Finally, 1991) What happens after “Show Me Love” has already been spun four times.

17. Alex Gaudino featuring Crystal Waters, “Destination Calabria,” (single, 2006) Aka “Destination Unknown,” this mash-up has a catchy saxophone part that will make you A.) bob your head in time; B.) stick cocktail olives in your ears until it’s done.

18. Beyoncé, “Crazy In Love,” (Dangerously in Love, 2003) Bad enough the radio played this song to death, but it appears to be mandatory at venues that spin Top 40… even though it’s been off the charts (literally) for five years.

19. Eurythmics, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This),” (Sweet Dreams, 1983) We love the duo. But any club remix of “Sweet Dreams” make us so nostalgic, we’d prefer to be backward skating at a roller rink.

20. Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Otherside (Benny Benassi Remix),” (Californication, 1999) Oakie, we love you and Perfecto, but we’ve noticed you play this track every single time you’re at Rain (not to mention a few other songs over and over). Surprise us!

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