[Hangover Report]

I Vant to Suck Your Vace

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in Twilight.
Summit Entertainment
C. Moon Reed

For the first time in the history of Halloween weekend, boobs weren’t the must-have costume accessory. This year it was … not that there’s any suspense … vampire teeth. Take Friday night at the club, for example. My best girlfriend spent the entire night pawing at and then mooning over this emo douchebag. Here’s the kicker: She HATES emo guys. But because he had vampire teeth, his sullen emo frown was magically transformed into sexy mystery. He wasn’t even wearing a costume, just the typical button down shirt and his long canines. For a moment I feared he was a real vampire and had “glamoured” her. What better time for real vampires to come out than on the one Halloween when they’re the pop culture “It” monster? Not to drink blood per say, but to get laid. The trick worked for human men as well.


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