Trunks-to-Speedos ratio

Xposed: 1:3

Temptation: 1:5

Lesbian tally

Xposed: Three

Temptation: More than 10. We can, in fact, get along!

LA invasion

Xposed: High. I recognize West Hollywood peacocking when I see it.

Temptation: Under control. This is a locals' lagoon.

Music

Xposed: EDM meets Krave, sans dancing.

Temptation: More groove-friendly. People actually dance at this party.

Cruising the waters

Xposed: Heavy in the "party" pool, low in the "chill" pool.

Temptation: One pool and it's tame, though one girl faked an orgasm.

Free seating

Xposed: Plentiful!

Temptation: Not much, so get there early.

Dudes wearing sashes

Xposed: Six

Temptation: None

Dudes wearing heels

Xposed: Four

Temptation: None

Dudes wearing Batman shirts

Xposed: Three

Temptation: None, but I see two in Superman tees.

Hostility factor to those over 30

Xposed: Low. Maybe more Palms Springs than WeHo.

Temptation: Low, though not as low as Xposed.

Hostility factor to body hair

Xposed: High. Might as well call this party Bodygroom Beach.

Temptation: High. I count two happy trails.

Beer

Xposed: Just me, apparently.

Temptation: Half of the crowd. Cheers, boys!

Xposed Saturdays, doors at noon, $20, free for guestlist noon-2 p.m. (closed May 24 for special event). Tropicana, 739-2429.

Temptation Sundays, doors at 1 p.m., $20, $10 for locals, free until 2 p.m. with text to 77948. 730-5920.