A&E

The final countdown: Five things we’ll miss most about Rehab Beach Club

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Photo: Krystal Ramirez / Special to the Weekly
Jason R. Latham

Sober up you, Rehab is almost over.

When we finally dry off this October, we’ll be saying farewell to 15 years of champagne showers, celebrity sightings and sunscreen mishaps at the Hard Rock Hotel’s pioneering pool party.

By now, you’ve heard, the party’s over. Virgin billionaire Richard Branson bought the place, and Rehab Beach Club will fall victim to a property-wide rebranding. Bright days are surely ahead for the 23-year-old resort, but, as Boyz II Men famously sang, it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

As Rehab winds down, here’s what we’ll miss most about the iconic dayclub.

THAT NAME

Naming a club is an unenviable task, especially in Las Vegas. You’ll get laughed out of town if your name is too corny (Club X-Treme!!!) or too cute (Rumors!). The name Rehab, however, was an out-of-the-box hit. Everyone wanted to go, just so they could joke that they were “off to Rehab.” Our fingers are crossed that the next Virgin dayclub will pay homage to its predecessor.

THE LINEUPS

Dance music (EDM, if you prefer) still rules the club scene in Las Vegas, but the minds at Rehab realized a long time ago that you can’t offer just one genre to your audience. Sublime, Snoop Dogg, Nelly, 3LAU, Kendrick Lamar and Kazaam himself, Shaquille O’Neal, have all taken turns on the Rehab stage. Even Psy donned a suit jacket in the sunshine for a “Gangnam Style” performance in 2012.

Heading into the home stretch, Rehab is sticking to its winning formula. The Labor Day Weekend lineup includes rapper PartyNextDoor on September 1, Puff Daddy and Laidback Luke on September 2 and Puff Daddy with Ookay on September 3.

POOL-INFUSED BEVERAGES

It’s inevitable, if you’re drinking in the Rehab pool—even with covered cups—you’ll eventually find yourself with a beverage that’s part alcohol and part chlorinated, sunscreen-infused pool water. It’s weird, but it’s also a reminder that you’re having the time of your life and you DGAF.

GRONK

“It’s not Rehab if Gronk doesn’t show up,” Director of Nightlife and Daylife Joe Bravo says of New England Patriots tight end (and seminal party king) Rob Gronkowski.

Rehab’s 15 years are defined by its “Holy crap, is that who I think it is?” celebrity sightings, but even the likes of Shaq Diesel, Kevin Hart or a Kardashian can’t compare to Gronk. When the property gets remodeled, it should dedicate a statue of the man at the new pool.

THE LEGACY

Here’s what we remember about 2003: Beyoncé dropped “Crazy in Love” from her debut album, and Rehab opened. That’s all.

Like Beyoncé, Rehab built a legacy. It’s the dayclub that defined daylife—over-the-top bottle presentations, guest DJs, swimsuit contests and star cameos. It even briefly dabbled in reality television (remember TruTV’s Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel?).

Thank you, Rehab. We’d tip our hat, but it fell in the pool … and we’re pretty sure someone else is wearing it out of here.

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