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The most popular Halloween costumes of 2014—and how to do them better

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If you can’t be evil on Halloween, when can you be?

It’s here again. That hallowed day when we get to smear fake blood across our cheeks, stuff our faces with candy and sexually objectify even those most mundane objects and creatures in the name of dressing like a slut free of judgment.

Yes, it’s finally Halloween, and this year that means everyone you know is dressing like a character in Frozen. Don’t be a sheep (or a talkative snowman). You can do better.

Here are five of the most searched costumes of 2014 on Google, along with our recommendations for how to do them better than the kid next door.

The woodsman himself.

Groot

Why go as some anonymous fern when you can be a galaxy-saving tree with the best name ever? All the other foliage will be jealous.

Pros: Sick dance moves. Avoid conversation by responding to all comments with, “I am Groot.”

Cons: Wearing a mask all night kinda sucks. You’ll probably get sick of saying, “I am Groot.”

Do it better: Go as holiday Groot and adorn yourself with battery-powered lights and Christmas ornaments. Or, carry an axe and make your costume a comment on the deforestation of the Amazon. Go trees!

Ninja Turtle

Everyone’s favorite example of reptilian radiation poisoning is back on the radar this year, and the best thing to come out of that truly terrible movie may be your Halloween costume.

Pros: Having your own theme song. Weapons for accessories. Nostalgia.

Cons: Is it weird to revisit your second grade costume as an adult?

Do it better: Find a friend to dress as a rabbit and go as the ninja turtle and the hare. Take the ninjas’ names to heart and go as teenage mutant ninja Michelangelo.

Maleficent

Forget blondes; it’s villains who have the most fun.

Pros: Being evil with impunity. Bright red lipstick and badass horns. Maniacal laughter.

Cons: You’ll never look as hot as Angelina Jolie.

Do it better: Merge Jolie’s life with her character’s and go as Mama Maleficent, just a busy working villain with a whole slew of kids, an uber hot husband and a side gig as a United Nations goodwill ambassador (which goes against your very nature, but … hey).

Olaf

Frozen water has never had this much personality.

Pros: Imitating that voice. Carrot nose doubles as a late-night snack. Also, Olaf is the best name ever.

Cons: Hearing yourself imitating that voice. People might mistake you for being pregnant.

Do it better: Go as a puddle. It’s existential, man.

Elsa

Frozen's conflicted ice queen is the costume of 2014. May the best braid win.

Pros: Looking good: You basically just have to put on a pretty dress, a blonde wig and heavy eye makeup. Whenever someone’s annoying you, start belting out “Let It Go,” and just say you’re getting into character. Also, throw ice cubes at people (cause that’s fun).

Cons: Every girl under 12 years old is also going as Elsa this year. But that’s not weird. Really.

Do it better:Go as Elsa in Frozen 2: The Big Thaw. All you’ll need is a bikini, a blonde wig and heavy eye makeup. You can still throw ice cubes at people.

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