I am a grad student who has been happily married for two years. I pay for my studies by working as an assistant instructor at the university where I study. The other night I dreamed about one of my students who is seven years younger than me and a bit of a class clown. He is not someone I find attractive so it was a complete surprise to dream of having satisfying sex with him. The next day in class I felt awkward and since then he has reappeared a couple more dreams. What is going on? –Candy 27, Sioux City, IA

Lauri: Alas, that is often the case with sex dreams. They are usually about someone we would not—nor should not—touch with a 10-foot pole. The reason is that our dream lovers aren’t always playing themselves but instead are standing in for a quality we lack and need to unite into our own behavior and personality. You described him as the class clown, which is a good indication he is not a terribly serious person and may also be fun to hang around. Are you too serious? Have you not been letting loose and allowing yourself to have a good time lately? Is there something going on you need to laugh off? Your dreams may be telling you to bring those qualities into your behavior right now just as you brought your student into your love den in your dreams!

Candy replies: You are right. With work and school I have no time for clowning around. Thank you.