Satirical Monday List: Top Nine Things I Overheard at the Flamingo

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Magician Nathan Burton is flanked by two Flamingo showgirls.
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I’ve been creeping around Flamingo Las Vegas quite a bit lately, probably too much to be deemed healthy. No concerns. This week’s list is Top 9 Things I Thought I Overheard Last Week at the Flamingo:

1. “I don’t know if it’s sleep deprivation or what, but I swear one of Marie Osmond’s dolls just snarled at me.”

2. “As I understand it, Warren Beatty founded this hotel back in the ’40s when he was with the Mob.”

3. “Somehow, I have been elected mayor of Margaritaville.”

4. “I just paid Vinnie Favorito $150 to insult me, and it was worth it!”

5. “They tell me that the gold Flamingo statue in the lobby is actually filled with nougat.”

6. “They call Nathan Burton a magician -- I just made my mortgage payment disappear!”

7. “It’s called the Paradise Garden Buffet, but man do they not like it when you run a rototiller through there.”

8. “The Laughlin Room has about the same acreage as the real Laughlin.”

9. “I hear that John Edward’s shirt size is psychic medium.”

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John Katsilometes is a columnist and magazine writer for the Las Vegas Sun and Las Vegas Weekly and editor-at-large for ...

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