I have a question about my love life. I am friendly with a man that I was working with. We are both divorced; he has a daughter and I have no children. I guess you might say that we are friends with a sex life. We agreed from the beginning to be "just friends" but I am finding myself to have some feelings for him. He's made it clear that he does not want to be in a relationship, and he once told me that he couldn't trust anyone when it comes to the matters of the heart. I understand how he feels so the last thing I want to do is be pushy or ever hurt him. What shall I do?
Lonely Girl
Dear Lonely Girl,
You are not supposed to be in this relationship long term. My definition of "just friends" means I do not have to worry about the condition of my sheets because some people have no business in my bedroom. Anyone who tells you that they want to be "just friends" and is still having the advantage of your favors is getting the better end of the deal (pardon the pun).
However, I recognize in your cards that this man has done you a great service by allowing you to open your heart again to the possibility of sharing your life with someone. That is the only reason he was a part of your life. (I am deliberately using the word "was" so you'll recognize that it's time to end this relationship.) Within two months after really ending this relationship, you'll meet a man with brown hair and light eyes. He's likely to be a fire sign and knows how to treat a woman. Men are noticing you more than ever right now, so be aware of who's looking at you.
Tell this man that you appreciate his "friendship" but that you've realized that you are ready for an abiding and trusting long-term relationship. Please embrace this change in your love life and tap into your own intuitive gifts, I promise that this new man is absolutely delightful!
Hi honey, I'm home!
I am 37 and for years have wanted to get married and have kids. I have finally met a man who I think would be a great husband and father. We have only been seeing each other for six months but I think he wants to marry me and has expressed that he wants children. He's 44.
Our relationship got off to a rocky start but now it is excellent. However, as of right now, I don't know that I want to marry him or get married, or have children. Why am I having cold feet? Is this normal and should I continue to date him until I feel ready to marry him? I do love him.
Gotta a Live One.
Dear Gotta Live,
You are brilliant enough to recognize that sometimes it may not be about the goal; it may be about the journey. Here you have attracted to yourself someone who is ready to marry you and wants the things in life that you have always thought would be your "happily ever after." What's bothering you are thoughts that your journey is over once you marry this man, and concerns that you'll lose yourself in the process. I believe that in a good relationship, you should feel more liberated with that person in your life than without them.
You are at a point in this relationship where you need to discuss what marriage would be like together. Does he expect you to produce offspring, have dinner on the table promptly at 6:12pm, and make sure his socks are white and sorted by activity? Actually, that is what I see he expects -- someone to marry to make it easier on him and promote his gene pool. You, on the other hand, are an absolutely amazing woman who should be recognized for all the wonderfulness you are.
If you marry him, be prepared to be the one who maintains the household because he IS looking for "Leave it to Beaver." Should these be the elements of that fantasy relationship you've always dreamed of, then go for it. Ask him what a typical day in the marriage two years from now would be like and see how he describes you. If you don't like what you hear, it is time to allow him to scurry off and find someone who's a little less aware of her own mind, abilities, and desires.
Oh, by the way, there is another man that will be soon interested in you. He'll be a few years younger than you with dark hair and brown to hazel eyes. He's likely to be an earth sign and may even know how to cook (the kitchen is just the beginning.) Hubba-hubba!
Mystic Mona is a licensed professional in the Psychic Arts through the City of Las Vegas. Her live and local radio show, "Psychic View," can be heard at 10 a.m. Saturdays on Hottalk 1140 AM. You may e-mail your questions for consideration to [email protected] or visit her website at www.mysticmona.com.