[ PERSON OF THE YEAR ]
The Erratic, Venal or Just Plain Screwy Politician
The tax-debacled Legislature. Conspiratorial Frances Deane. Double-dipping Wendell Williams. Ethically inept Michael Mack. Knee-begging Erin Kenny. Bachelor-padding Dario Herrera. Dumb Lance Malone. Greedy Mary Kincaid-Chauncey. Incompetent University Regents.
It's a dispiriting list, this roll call of public-sector shame. For a while, it was possible to enjoy it as governtainment, another element of the spectacle mentality that rules Vegas—the County Commision presents Cirque du Corruption!—but that paled quickly. Watching lawmakers chicken out at every turn in Carson City; wondering how Deane, the county recorder, thought she could get away with forming a private company to sell the public records she oversees, or just how much her conduct in office has been determined by spy novels and Ouija boards; warding off one pummeling headline after another as G-Sting unfolded; lamenting that it was Roy instead of the regents clamped in Montecore's jaws ... after a while it became a blur: WendellWilliamsTopazia"Brigit"Jones MichaelMack ... Stop, please. We used to be amused, now we're just disgusted.
Or are we? Are we really? Or are we telling ourselves we're disgusted, because we know we should be, but deep down aren't all that shocked? And is that what we'll ultimately take from 2003: resignation? We want so much better but expect nothing less.
Oh, and here's a special mention: Michael Galardi. Dude brought down government officials in two cities. That's impact. Erin, Dario and the whole Hee Haw gang couldn't have (allegedly!) done it without you.
[ RUNNERS UP ]
The Teenager Gone Wild
We saw the not-so-adorable side of teens this year—from Beau and Monique Maestas, 19 and 16, who stabbed two Mesquite children after a meth deal gone bad, to the spoiled 311 Boyz, who wailed on other kids and videotaped it. Cretins.
The Taxman
How'd he get us this year? We could count the ways—$836 million in state tariffs; hiked utility rates; taxes on live entertainment—but we're out of fingers.
The Voracious Developer
You're telling yourself, no shit. What year isn't? 2003 was no different: builder Jim Rhodes got shouted down when he sought to park houses near Blue Diamond; Station Casinos got an earful of public anger for proposing a casino near Red Rock; and, as the year wound down, Irwin Molasky was strong-arming the city to rezone land on Buffalo for a Social Security office—over the protests of 150 neighbors.
The Diva
Celine. Elton John. Another broadcast of Divas Las Vegas. Joey Arias in Zumanity. Oscar Goodman.
The Naked Paintball Quarry
Bambi hunting seemed plausible, didn't it? Rich guys paying big to hunt nude women in the desert? Totally Vegas. And for a short but lively news cycle, much of America bought it.
The Bus-Ticketed Homeless
Vegas was named Meanest City in America by the National Coalition for the Homeless last summer as services shrunk and Oscar spewed less-than-sympathetic rhetoric. Some services were closed, some started charging for beds and Brother Dave, friar 'n' activist extraordinaire, said he was hittin' the road. Perhaps on a bus.
The Gambling Virtuecrat
It's a mental image to treasure: Super-moralist William Bennett nestled up with a high-dollar slot machine, piddling away his millions and his better-than-thou reputation. As the headlines attested, not everything that happens here stays here.
The Water Cop
Lawns became battlefields, fountains became controversies and car-washing, we learned, was a right over which we were prepared to draw a line in the very, very dry sand. But the water cops went on the prowl regardless, citing those who failed to get it: We're in a drought. We live in a desert. Stop watering the curbs.
The Supreme Court
Who needs an incompetent Legislature and a state constitution when you've got a panel of as-we-like-it judges willing to change the rules? Score one for judicial relativism.