I have a question about what I should do with a very complex issue in my life. I am 28 years old and have been married for eight years. I also have two children but have been physically separated from my husband for three years. We have not filed for divorce, nor have we really ever talked about it.
I live on the opposite coast at the moment, but am seriously considering moving back out to Las Vegas to be closer to him for our children's sake.
I want to give my marriage another go. I have talked with him some on this issue, but we only talk by phone every other week or so, and he hasn't been clear as to what he wants. I left him due to minor reasons and he's always wanted to stay together and make it work. I refused to listen to him for the longest time, and now I don't know if it's too late or not.
I wonder if it's worth my moving back to Las Vegas and go against the woman he has been seeing for over a year. Do I have a chance to reclaim my marriage? Do I make the move? Do I try to talk to him? I had planned on coming out to visit him next month but since I haven't been able to reach him, all that is up in the air. Is it worth it? Do I have anything to look forward to, relationship-wise?
CONFUSED AND UNSURE
Dear Confused,
Yes, you can make this relationship work but you cannot think that he's the only one to bring magic into your life. This is a major turning point in your life. Make plans to move closer to your kid's dad as soon as possible. This is the reason: I don't want you at some point in the future to chastise yourself for not making a go of this. Get yourself interviews lined up, contact some friends, see about school issues for the kids and just do this.
You have a very powerful and positive outcome in your cards in relation to this question. Send him a letter and tell him you and the kids are moving so the kids can be closer to their dad. Tell him you love him, and that even though you're not sure about what lies ahead, or if your relationship will return to a romantic/familial level, you wanted him to know your feelings. Make sure you stress to him that his happiness is the most important thing even if that doesn't include you.
If your husband has dark hair and eyes, I see the two of you getting back together. If that's not his description, then I see you falling in love with a man after your move that's got dark hair and eyes. Either way, everyone gets a better and more loving situation.
He's The Man
My husband switched jobs a few months ago. At first he liked it, but now he's talking about quitting. I don't want to be the sole breadwinner for the family, even though I know the kids would benefit from someone being at home all the time. I just always thought that "someone" would be me. Do you see anything regarding my husband and his job? Is there anything about my job I should know about?
ALL WOMAN
Dear All Woman,
It would be really good for the two of you to decide where you plan to be in the next five years. Somehow you've gotten yourselves to the point where you're not talking about the goals of the family and what you both want. Don't try to decide how it will happen, simply decide how you'd like to be living your lives in the next five years.
Take out a sheet of paper and write down where you'd like to be physically, emotionally, and financially. Write about what constitutes an ideal career for you and your husband; the vacations would you like to take; and most importantly, write down a number to represent the amount of income you'd like your household to generate. Put this piece of paper in a bright envelope, seal it, and put it on your refrigerator with a magnet.
It is likely that your husband will change jobs because he really doesn't like this one. Instead of waiting until change happens, encourage your husband to find another job before he quits this one. His being unemployed depresses him and makes him not very attractive when he interviews at new places. He is not supposed to be complacent and he's worth more to a new company if he's employed when he's weighing his options.
Be very open and receptive in the next three months because there is a huge reason for the two of you to celebrate no later than March. You can get what you want with patience and support of helping him realize his potential.
Mystic Mona is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her live, local radio show, Psychic Views, airs 10 a.m. Saturdays on Hot Talk 1140-AM. You may e-mail questions for consideration to [email protected].