STATE OF THE CITY |
Correction In January, the Weekly selected Dario Herrera 'Man of the Year.' We regret the error. Below, some memorable quotes from the article.
On politics "I enjoy it very much. I can do without some of the negative aspects, of course. But I have to take the good with the bad. The opportunity to help people far outweighs any negative aspects that accompanies it."
On the temptation to take money from special interests "I know the role lobbyists play, believe me. They want to use you. But frankly, in legislative office, you can use them for good purposes."
On his political future "What did the analysts say? Did any of them say my career is over?" |
One-Minute Drink Critic: NICOwater
It's just what it sounds like: water infused with nicotine. Forty-seven million Americans are trying to quit, according to NICOwater's literature, leading its makers to presume that 47 million Americans should be drinking their product, which comes with the following warning: "Nicotine can increase your heart rate. Stop use if you experience the symptoms of nicotine overdose, including nausea, vomiting, dizziness, diarrhea, weakness, palpitations and rapid heartbeat."
Other than that, it tastes like water.
Dialogue of the Week, Discussing Wormicide
Donna Marie Billen of Scottsdale, Arizona, came to town last week to meet in arbitration with Combined Resource Systems, the embattled worm-farm investment company that was based in Henderson before its owner disappeared with the company's money. No worm-farm reps showed up for the arbitration, so Billen hopes to get back the nearly $20,000 she signed a contract for.
"So, what did you do with the worms?" the arbitrator asked. "Did you send them back?"
"There was nothing to send back."
"Did they die?"
"They died. They crawled. The bins heated up to over 100 degrees. They broiled to death. They zoomed out of the holes, there were piles and piles on my floor, 230 pounds of dead worms."
At Least This Item Doesn't Involve 230 Pounds of Dead Worms Like the Last One
"Goat droppings are the same as rabbit droppings."
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Kay Landwehr to the City Council about why her animals aren't a nuisance.
"I would rather take the lid off my septic tank than live with what I lived with this summer."
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Neighbor Edna Reed on the smell.
City Council to Landwehr: You can have no more than three goats at a time on the property, and they all must be female. Why? The council was told that females, well … their shit don't stink.
Community Pride Quote of the Week
"That is a bit of a conundrum. Most people know that Las Vegas is not a place for the higher educated."
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UNLV sociology professor Robert Parker on a census report showing Nevada in the 1990s attracted more single college graduates than any other state.
Dennis Hopper's New Role: Museum Docent
At last week's press conference for the Guggenheim-Hermitage Museum's A Century of Painting, Guggenheim Director Thomas Krens asked his biker buddy for a few words. At first Hopper, goateed and nattily capped, turned in his seat to laud the museum's Vegas outpost. Warming to the topic, he stood and implored the other guests to scan the riches around them. Then he launched an impromptu lecture about how various artists learned from others, specifically how Van Gogh—astutely pronounced "Van Gaah"—drew on Seurat and Manet.
Not bad for, as he put it, a kid from Dodge City, Kansas.
This Week's Sign that the Apocalypse is Upon Us
Stenciled sign, spotted on U.S. 395 between Carson City and Reno last weekend: "Nixon again." We're not sure if it calls for, or rather acknowledges, a return to the honest, humane diplomacy and scupulous ethics of the Nixon Administration.
But How Did Simon and Garfunkel Sound, Doug?
We here at Gray Matters aren't ones to discourage creative writing, especially in the Review-Journal, where it so rarely occurs. But Doug Elfman's November 10 review of Simon and Garfunkel—in the form of a review of the memories the music evoked—may have been a tad overcreative, possibly in a frantic effort to compensate for the writing of Sonya Padgett (recipient of this week's No Shit Award for this gem from Sunday's paper: "Paris Las Vegas has an Arc de Triomphe and Eiffel Tower, but visitors there would never think they are in the real Paris"). Here, a breakdown:
1
Times an S&G song reminded Elfman of an anecdote involving Ben Vereen and his mother.
1
Times an S&G song reminded Elfman of something nutty that happened in fifth grade.
1
Times an S&G song reminded Elfman of his ex-wife and the Bangles.
1
Times an S&G song reminded Elfman of his ex-wife and a Santa Clause seashell.
1
Times he actually wrote, "Do I miss her, or do I miss who I was when I was with her?"
1
Times an S&G song prompted a more or less relevant aside on music and misery, complete with rambling quotation from Nick Hornby.
0
Times Elfman tells us whether, after all these years, Simon and Garfunkel can still sing.