1. We're the center of the universe.
2. The pace—it's fast, it's slow, it's anything you want it to be.
3. The relative restraint of Wendell Williams: At least he didn't triple-dip.
4. Four a.m. and there's life.
5. That seven of every 10 major national bad-news stories have a Vegas connection: the dirty King of Pop—here; Elizabeth Smart and the Messiah—here, Al Quaeda—here.
6. Blow-it-up-and-build-it-better.
7. Cost of living: could be worse, folks. Ask a San Franciscan.
8. Thom Reilly.
9. Suckers! Sorry, we meant to say visitors. Valued visitors.
10. The fact that Bonanza Gift Shop sells the following items emblazoned with Las Vegas logos: snow globes with dolphins swimming inside, wood carvings of reindeer, coffee cups in the shape of coconuts. If you weren't aware that Vegas is renowned for its dolphins, reindeer and coconuts, you're missing our complicated subtext.
11. Our complicated subtext.
12. The ridiculously small and low-tech sports book at the Trop.
13. That that Heavy Hitter guy doesn't have a bigger advertising budget.
14. Proximity to Rhyolite, home of the glass-bottle house and a giant Last Supper sculpture.
15. The horrendous polka band at the fireside lounge on Mt. Charleston.
16. Real live burros crossing the road in Red Rock.
17. Real live ammo a half-mile away at the gun club.
18. Gary Peck.
19. The possibility, however remote, that G-Sting will scare local politicians into behaving more ethically and in the public interest.
20. Our dumb but touching optimism.
21. The art in the D Terminal at McCarran Airport.
22. McCarran Airport.
23. No forests. No fires.
24. Hey, we still have some water!
25. Seances at the Psychic Eye.
26. McDonald's. Yes, that's right, we said McDonald's. We're thankful for McDonald's. Not every McDonald's, but the one on Sahara by the Strip. It's been there 40 years and has a fine display of Happy Meal Toys Thru the Ages. And we're not afraid to love that. And, yes, screw you, we'd like fries with that.
27. An abundance of Mormon missionaries saving our sick city one door-opener at a time.
28. Sexy fleshy flesh everywhere!
29. Mitch Fox's disturbing mustache—easily the defining facial hair of local news roundtabling.
30. KNPR's two stations, yes. The prospect of two pledge drives, double no.
31. The fact that Rita Rudner doesn't have a TV show … whoops!
32. Ed Bernstein's show, yes. Ed Bernstein, no.
33. The World Series of Poker.
34. The parking lot on Sunset made specifically to watch airplanes land.
35. Immigrants from around the world, here and working.
36. Beer-in-hand on public sidewalks.
37. Beer-in-hand around the clock.
38. Beer.
39. Bob Beers, because, in the inverse way that south indicates where north is, Beers points the way toward reasonable politics.
40. The women and men who hold the "Slow" and "Stop" signs at roads under construction: How many of us have sat at these torn-up stretches of road, in a rush to be somewhere we don't want to be, and daydreamed of having that job? Or imagined what their lives must be like? Or wondered how much sunscreen they must go through? They've given us endless stuck-in-traffic reveries. Here's to the sign-holders.
41. The half-dozen roads that, at any given moment, aren't under construction.
42. Cirque du just about anything.
43. Progressive slots.
44. Buses that haul old people from comfy, financially stable retirement living into town to piss away their life savings in progressive slots.
45. The UNLV Women's Studies Department, existing under a blanket of sexploitation.
46. The fact that it's possible to ignore golf and all of its subcultures even though we're drowning in golf courses.
47. Three hundred days of sunshine a year, yes. Air conditioning, double yes.
48. Proximity to the castle in Death Valley.
49. The Free Jessica Williams website.
50. People who say, "I like Vegas, but I wouldn't want to live there."
51. The fried banana, coconut ice cream and rice dessert at Lotus of Siam.
52. That Lotus of Siam is in the same shopping center as a swingers bar, a wig shop, the gay community center, a Korean Karaoke restaurant, a church and an AA meeting place.
53. Oscar Goodman's endless quotability. OK, maybe that's just us.
54. The pedicab driver who dresses head-to-toe in red, white and blue while hauling vacationers through deadly traffic for a living.
55. This old woman who lives behind the zoo who makes shoebox dioramas of farm scenes and puts them in her front yard on display.
56. People who pray over dice.
57. The Guardian Angel Cathedral on the Strip, which accepts chips as tithing.
58. A common knowledge of: Penn's sexual proclivities, Roy's health status, John Barr's latest commercial.
59. Chintz. Because why not?
60. Cheap sex in dirty trailers just 40 minutes away!
61. Magic shows—why? Why so many?
62. Other, more random, acts of magic: Norm!'s blood alcohol comes back as zero, Celine packs 'em in night after night, a freshwater lake sprouts in Henderson.
63. And the questions that define us: Why can't UNLV buy a good football team? Where do all of these people work? How is it possible that the Spaghetti Bowl isn't finished yet?
64. Las Vegas Weekly cover models.