Constitutional Amendments We'd Like to See Once Sandra Tiffany Makes It a Snap to Add to the State's Guiding Document
• Long-overdue Say It, Don't Spray It law.
• Emeril-cooked Thanksgivings for all!
• Law limiting use of "Don't even go there" to people under 13, and only in cases of extreme conversational emergency.
• Slaughter is still around? A quick initiative petition will take care of that.
• An amendment outlawing that surly waitress at Denny's who always makes us feel stupid for saying "Moons Over My Hammy," as if we thought that shit up!
Because We Care About the Children
Total number of Review-Journal and Sun reporters credited with working on the Jacko chase story, not including photographers:
12.
Total number of Review-Journal and Sun reporters credited with working on the story of a 13-year-old girl shot and killed in the street, same evening:
2.
The One-Minute Media Critic: R-J Editor's Column
It's hard to know what was more distressing about Review-Journal Editor Thomas Mitchell's Sunday column: His condescension to his audience (the point of his column was that he wouldn't have deigned to overcover the Michael Jackson Movable Feast on Thursday, but that the tawdry appetites of his readers forced him to) or this sentence: "What can apply to the consequential can also apply to the trifling codswallop." Trifling codswallop! Speak 21st century, Tom!
Brainless Analogy of the Week
"I feel like I'm living in a Gestapo state."
—
Goat-owning Las Vegan Kay Landwehr, comparing official scrutiny of her livestock to living with a secret-police force that could torture or murder citizens at will.
Tom, Please. If You're Not Vegas, Nobody's Vegas
"Though some people might say Tom Jones is a Vegas act, I'm less Vegas than a lot of new acts," Mr. It's Not Unusual told Newsweek about himself, in the third person, last week after releasing his new CD Reloaded. And those more Vegas-y acts would be …?
If Tigers Could Talk: Excerpts from KLAS-TV's 'Letters To Roy' Website Posting
Roy,
We are from Michigan and have truly enjoyed your show 62 times! …
Montecore misses you and can't wait to see you again.
Love,
Lisa Filipiak
Michigan
Dear Roy,
…. I am sure if Montecore could talk he would be crying and telling you he was so sorry; I bet when he sees you again he will let you know in his own special way that he is…
Your biggest Fan,
Cheila Ellis of Port Angeles, Washington State
Hello Roy,
… I know you can do it, you have the strength of your babies that are now wondering where you are.
An old friend from the past
Joan Gallagher Smith
Hi Roy,
…. I know if your tigers could talk they would be telling you to get well soon.
Take Care
Joanne Jordan
Stoneham Massachusetts
Roy,
…You are a blessing to those animals, no matter what some political groups argue, and they are lucky to have you as a friend. I'm sure they miss you and can't wait to get back and play.
Lora Key
Roy - … (T)o your tigers, they miss you too and want you to come home to them soon.
Beth
Las Vegas, NV
Does That Make Red Rock Station the Sears Tower of Summerlin Center?
The issue of a 300-foot-tall hotel in Summerlin has lately been overshadowed, as have all other things of note, by Michael Jackson sightings and speculations. So forgive our slowness, but it took us almost a month to come across a statement on www.saveredrock.org quoting a land-use consultant for Station Casinos comparing Summerlin to, ahem, Chicago: "This will be a downtown that will be like a mini-downtown Chicago or that kind of urban center." Last time we checked, gambling wasn't legal in Chicago.