Tyari ho gayi patolaya teri katni nu phul lag gaye ... chardi kala! Chardi kala? "Sarson ka saag," alloo matar. "Phulkari. Duuppatta bagar desi ghee. Oscar Goodman!"
Kameez kada.
Ajwain rajma Moncrief; masalas kameez. :)
*This cost-reduction allowed the Weekly to lay off three interns and an associate editor. Bagels for the bosses!
Last August, after sitting through a hearing on security in the West, staff writer Kate Silver suggested that the Department of Homeland Security liven up its meetings by enlisting the help of a warm, fuzzy mascot (Wanted: Large Fuzzy Creature for Patriotic Duty, August 28, 2003). Last week, the Depatment of Homeland Security responded. Its new mascot, they say, is the ever-popular American shepherd. What's an American shepherd, you ask? Who knows? A dog of some sort? We suggested characters like Terry the Terror Alert Toucan, Patriot Pat and Geraldo the Fox—animals that actually exist.
The media undressing of indicted campaign-disclosure scofflaw and City Councilwoman Janet Moncrief gets more soap opera-ish by the day. As has been reported, Moncrief's friends-turned-snipers say she was the scrambled brains behind a media campaign to discredit her opponent, ethnically challenged then-councilman Michael McDonald, allegedly creating and then blaming him for a mailer, "The Moncrief Controversy," that denounced her 1994 suspicion of drunk-driving arrest.
McDonald's campaign manager at the time, Jim Ferrence, was impressed with Moncrief's tearful performance during a 2003 press conference to, essentially, defend herself from herself.
"She cried while holding an attack flier she created as if she was so hurt by it," Ferrence tells the Review-Journal. "There are Oscar-winning actresses that aren't able to do that."
"Despite numerous media statements to the contrary, President George W. Bush DID NOT appear at the Nevada Carpenters Union Hall. Rather his appearance was at the Carpenters International Traning Center."
Following the true-life announcment that Hooters restaurant chain plans to open Hooters Hotel-Casino at the old San Remo Hotel, The Weekly endorses these new hotels:
The Really Really Skanky Hamburger-n-Breast Hotel
The But-We-Like-The-Fries Bulbous Buttcheeks Hotel
The It's Not Cheesy Exploitation, It's A Cheeseburger! Hotel
Writer Rebecca Solnit recently syndicated (through the progressive news service Alternet) a handy diagnosis of Nevada's ills. Apparently, this is a national blind spot filled with environmental abuses, rapacious capitalism and continuing ill treatment of Indians. "The state," she writes, "is a truly peculiar place, a hole in public consciousness." What she seems to be saying is that what happens here stays here. What issues outline the "dimensions of [Nevada's] apocalyptic plight"? The usual for a San Fran lefty: the screwing of the Western Shoshone out of their lands; antiquated mining laws; arrogance about water (Chinatown is referenced, darkly); the state's nuclear heritage; Yucca mountain. How bad is it here? Oh, bad. "When you consider the human rights abuses, the squandering of resources for the benefit of the few and the lunatic decisions being made for the long-term future of the state, the war in Iraq looks a little like a decoy from troubles at home ..." Yikes! Which way to California? Read the whole piece yourself at
http://www.alternet.org/story/19519.