I received an e-mail the other day from the esteemed editor of this fine publication, congratulating me on my Chargers winning the AFC West and clinching their first playoff berth since the first Clinton administration, and he punctuated it with the following: "This is a year that defies all reason and sense of order."
No kidding. And I present as proof Exhibit A: my record picking games. Take a look at the last line of this column, and you'll notice that I'm nine games over .500 with two weeks (read: 10 picks) left in the regular season. That means one more victory and I'll guarantee myself a winning mark. Forget all the odd twists that have turned this NFL season into one long episode of CSI; this blows away everything. It's like Oscar Goodman leaving a holiday party without having a drink or a female sideline reporter uttering something insightful. Just doesn't happen, folks.
Of course, it's still quite possible that I could flop like an Oliver Stone epic and go 0-10 down the stretch—in which case, at least I would finally know what it feels like to be a Vikings fan.
Chiefs -7.5 vs. Raiders Here's a stunner: Two Raiders, including all-overrated cornerback Charles Woodson, were arrested following Sunday's victory over the Titans for public intoxication. For those keeping score at home, that's one arrest for every interception this season for Woodson. Good luck in free agency, there, Chuck!
Steelers -6 vs. Ravens When it comes to football accomplishments, Ben Roethlisberger winning his first 12 NFL starts ranks somewhere between Gus the mule kicking a 100-yard field goal and Al Bundy scoring four touchdowns in a single high-school football game.
Titans +3.5 vs. Broncos Tough times for Denver's Jake Plummer. First, The League's suits fined him five Gs for flipping the bird to Broncos fans in a game against the Dolphins, then Denver owner Pat Bowlen tagged him with a $100,000 fine for impersonating an NFL quarterback.
Cardinals +7.5 at Seahawks It's a crime that the Seahawks are probably going to win the NFC West and get a home playoff game with a record of 8-8. Here's the justice, though: We live in a state where it's perfectly legal to wager against a team that has no business playing after the first weekend of January.
Best Bet Bills -11 at 49ers. I hear that the 49ers asked to don throwback jerseys this week. The NFL said fine, so long as the players wearing them are from the jerseys' respective era. (By the way, here's how far the Niners have fallen: I'm not even thinking twice about laying double-digits with Drew Bledsoe on the road.)
Last week: 3-2 (1-0 Best Bet)
Season: 42-33 (7-8 Best Bet)