"You're going out with WHO?" asked my girlfriend Skinner Louise in utter disbelief. Being that she and I have been close pals for over a decade, and that I have never ceased to shock and amaze her, I knew she wasn't judging me. She was just a little surprised, as was I. Truth be told, in a skillion years I never thought I'd go out with the likes of Him.
"You heard me," I answered. "I ran into Him after a function for work and even though we've run in similar circles for years, it was the first time that we've ever had a chance to chat. He's very interesting and intelligent. Not to mention, He's spiritual. He studies yoga and is a single father who absolutely adores His four kids. I have to tell you, I'm intrigued by Him."
"Wow! That's ... good?" she asked instead of stated. I could tell she was still in shock. "He just doesn't seem like your type, that's all. But if you like Him, then hey, go for it!" she said.
"We'll see," I answered, feeling the need to cover my backside just in case He turned out to be the sleaze we'd both heard about for years. "You know me, everyone starts off with an A and it's up to them to keep it. I want to give this thing the benefit of the doubt before I write Him off. Honestly, I am excited to spend more time with Him and see if there's anything there. So far, He seems too good to be true."
That part was true. When I bumped into Him after a party my company had sponsored, He was positively charming. I was quite pleasantly surprised to find that intellectual conversation and incredible life experiences could be such an aphrodisiac. It was nice to know that I'm not as superficial as I'd always thought I was.
In fact, I found His personality so magnetic that His physical appearance never bothered me in the least. Not that He is unattractive, He is just the complete opposite of the men I am usually interested in. Times 10. Most of the men that I date are the muscular-athletic types and are often my age or younger. He just so happens to be about my size and older than my mother. But I didn't care; I was immediately drawn to Him. The chemistry between us was undeniable. Besides, after my most recent breakup, I realized that I'd been craving s'mores—s'more attention, s'more excitement, s'more dates and of course, s'more sex. I am after all in the prime of my life. And who better to paint the town with than Him?
He had established himself in the City of Sin as a successful entrepreneur and the power that He enjoyed because of that was enticing. What girl wouldn't be drawn to a man who is escorted to the front of every club line, never waits for tables at the finest restaurants and knows the who's who of Las Vegas? Who could blame me for enjoying the attention we received whenever we were together? Being with Him was intoxicating. When He held my hand and we stared into each other's brown eyes, it was like there was no one else in the room. I was with Mr. So and So, and everybody knew it. I felt a certain sense of security in His presence, like no one could hurt me. And it was beyond wonderful.
So when my friends would look questioningly at me when they found out whom I was seeing, I would just dismiss their snide comments and defend Him to the very end. How could they possibly know what I know?
"Sonja, He's so ... old," said one friend as gently as she could.
"Older, not old. He's in better shape than men I've dated that are half His age." Not entirely true, but I held firm to my conviction. "And who cares, that just means that He has more experience, and believe you me, more experience equals mad skills in the bedroom," I countered with a wink. Even though we hadn't gotten to that point, I was sure I was right on the money with my statement.
"You know," added another girlfriend, "He has quite the reputation as a womanizing man-whore who only dates very young women." Ouch.
"Great!" I said, trying to sound enthusiastic, even though constantly defending the new man in my life was draining me of my true essence. "So He dates hot, young women. What does that say about me? I must be in good company, right? Besides, I don't exactly have a halo over my head." I smiled wearily.
She came back with: "Aren't you afraid you're just going to be another notch on His bedpost?" Meeeeooow! Oh you catty bitch.
"Shouldn't He be just as afraid he's going to be another notch on mine?" I spat back.
"Good for you, Sonja," said Skinner Louise, coming to my rescue. "If you are happy, then we are happy for you. You know better than we do. Besides, it's all about trusting your instincts. If your instincts tell you He's a keeper then why should anything anyone else has to say stand in your way?" She said this while glaring at all the Doubting Debbies at the table.
Thank God for Skinner. Of course, I couldn't help but wonder why so many people were against us being together. Was I trusting my instincts? Or was I just hell-bent on proving everyone wrong?
I was suddenly craving s'mores again, s'more time with Him, s'more insight into who He really is and s'more trust in my usually very bad judgment!
Sonja is a writer who covers the ins and outs of relationships. Or is it the ups and downs?