The Gospel of John is one of the most faithful film adaptations I have ever seen. And by faithful, I mean both faithful and full of faith. It is clearly a film made by believers for believers, and looks at its source material not as mythology but as history. As a historical film, it shines with authenticity, from the period instruments used in its score to the dirt under the characters' fingernails. From the beginning, the film shows us it is an ambitious epic. But what it tells us is something altogether different.
The entire film is narrated by Christopher Plummer. The entire film. When you see a disciple stand up and greet Jesus, Plummer chimes in with, "The disciple stood and greeted Jesus." When you see Jesus spread mud on a blind man's eyes, Plummer says, "Jesus spread the mud onto the blind man's eyes." Even without his sight restored, the blind man could've followed the entire film. At first it's baffling and mildly annoying. By the end of three hours, it's maddening.
Henry Ian Cusick plays the part of Jesus, the closest thing to a fleshed-out character in the whole film, and does so quite well. But his frequent, lengthy speeches make it seem like he's trying to one-up Plummer on redundancies. He literally says, "I am telling you the truth," at least 20 times. And yet, even his own disciples never seem to get it.
There are scenes that work when you ignore the narration. The scene where Jesus utters a version of the classic line, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone," is very cinematic. And the crucifixion is done well, if somewhat hastily. But any potential drama is undermined by the fact that we've been too bored and too aggravated for too long to care.
The film fails as a film because the ultra-literal translation omits characterization and drama, making it seem more like a pseudo-documentary. It then fails as a pseudo-documentary because the narration sounds like someone reading a picture book to 6-year-olds. And it finally fails as a picture book for 6-year-olds because it's too dull to keep even adults interested. Believe me, this is not a movie. I am telling you the truth.