My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. I never thought I could fall so madly in love with someone. Up until a year ago, things were absolutely blissful. We've lived together for about a year and about six months ago our relationship started to have some problems. I was having issues of trying to please everyone around me by going to school for something that just wasn't sitting right. He was in a band that took up a lot of his time and because of our schedules, we weren't seeing each other very often.
My frustration and bit of selfishness turned into resentment and for the first time, we were having arguments. He wasn't telling me how he was feeling and he ended up becoming close to one of the strippers he works with. I could feel that something was wrong and caught him on the phone with her when I came home early from work back in October. He told me that he was developing feelings for this woman because she understood him. When I ended up in the hospital with severe anxiety attacks, he told me he ended the relationship with her and wanted to give ours another try. However, he still stresses to me that he's not sure I'm the one he wants to spend his life with. He also says I drive him nuts because I keep asking him how he's feeling abut me and I freak out when he doesn't say something comforting.
He's having his own issues now (he's 35 and still wants to be a rock star) and I know that I'm not helping with my own insecurities. He's mentioned that we should have some time away from each other, but I really don't have any place to go. I don't have a full-time job (because I was trying to finish my schooling), I can't afford anything, and I really feel stuck. I feel in my heart and soul that he is my one true love and I could never feel this way about anyone ever again. I have such anxiety when I'm away from him, and I want to know if this relationship is resolvable. What do I need to do to make this work?
HEARTBROKEN AND CONFUSED
Dear Heart-Confused,
The right relationship is supposed to make you feel more liberated. You have gotten yourself so wrapped up in the identity of being with him that you have lost yourself in the process. You are having anxiety attacks because you're allowing another person to define your life for you. I want you to go back to the person he met—the one who has dreams for herself.
This will be the most difficult thing I tell you: In order for this relationship to work, you must be willing to let him go. If you really love him then you have to want for him what he wants for himself. This is not a one-way street; he has to love you enough to want the same thing for you. You need to be able to say the following to him and mean it: "I love you more than I ever thought I'd love someone. I also love you enough to let you go." You cannot try to hang onto a man by emotional blackmail.
Go find yourself a part-time job that can earn you some money and get your plan B together and figure out a place to stay while you finish school. You are supposed to experience a certain amount of success yourself and if you're using this man as a reason to not succeed, then shame on you!
I see the real man of your dreams has brown hair and light eyes. You may already know him and it's likely he'll either be a Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius. What makes him a great catch is he will fall in love with the person on the inside, not the package (although it's nice) on the outside. There will be no doubt that you are loved, which in turn, means you can conquer your own corner of the world knowing there is someone with whom to share the successes. So you see, real love does make you feel more liberated.
The makings of a country song
This last year I had to sell my home, my boyfriend broke up with me, and my dog died. Will I have any luck with money, love, or jobs this year?
WHAT NOW?
Dear What Now?:
The man I see you with will have dark hair and eyes and is probably a Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn. You'll have an opportunity for a new job in the next two weeks with more money, and a friend will give you a new puppy by the end of February.
EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT
The Mystic Mona Single Mix and Mingle Party will be held on Wednesday, January 28, 7-9 p.m. at Panevinos restaurant on Sunset Road. You must register for this event at www.8at8.com or call 228-8088.
Mystic Mona is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her live, local radio show, "Psychic View," airs 10 a.m. Saturdays on Hot Talk 1140-AM. You may e-mail your questions for consideration to [email protected].