"Damon … you must not have the gene, because you're clearly not a moron."
— Gil Schwartz
Traveling cross country with a friend in the 1970s, Gil Schwartz stopped in Vegas, ate at a luncheonette (he can't recall the hotel) and lost $20 in a slot machine. It wouldn't be his last visit.
Over the years, business has brought Schwartz—an author, Fortune magazine columnist (alias Stanley Bing) and executive vice president of communications for CBS Television—here a dozen or so times, most recently for conference earlier this month.
The result of that visit: a column titled "15 Things I like About Las Vegas." One of them: Vegas makes him a moron. Irreverent, topical and blessed with the ability to make business writing sing, Schwartz proved anything but moronic.
What's with the New York Times hating on Vegas?
I have not read the series.
In your column, you say Vegas has an abundance of smokers, slot machines and fat people. You must've never been to Reno.
I don't believe I have. If I have, I was too drunk to remember. You know what I also notice? I notice a lot of painfully, horrendously and scarily thin folks—ancient slabs of beef jerky masquerading as people and losing thousands of dollars.
Have you ever traveled off the Strip?
I have not. For one thing, it's awfully horrible outside. I keep hearing it's a dry heat, but when it's 110 degrees, I don't care if there's no humidity, it's hot! And there is no getting anywhere. You can't walk. I was staying at the Mirage and our meeting was at Caesars. I walked and missed half the meeting.
With that column, I got a lot of mail from people about things going on in Vegas. I'm sure there are a lot of people there doing everyday things.
What do Fortune 500 types think about Vegas as a business city?
Vegas is getting plenty of respect from the business community as a great, growing market with ample consumers and a great place to run certain types of businesses. So many cities would love to have the growth rate of Vegas. At the same time, it's the only place where I'm talking to a gorgeous showgirl who she says wants to be a lawyer.
But the city really wants to be taken seriously by Wall Street.
What, so the criminals on Wall Street can look down on the criminals of Las Vegas? There are plenty of respectable business cities for boring people to go to and do boring things. The big cities in the world that are financial centers, like Zurich and Brussels, are boring places. Vegas isn't like that. Vegas shouldn't change its sense of renewing itself. Casinos now have nice room service and mini bars. But it was not this way at first. Used to be you could barely get a glass of water in your room. You'd call room service, tell them you'd like a hamburger and it'd come next Thursday.
Tourism officials have unsuccessfully tried to lure Fortune 500 companies to open regional headquarters here. Why the avoidance?
If I were going to organize a major fiduciary entity, I wouldn't pick Las Vegas as a place to locate. Las Vegas is nicer than its ever been before. It's got good restaurants and is lovely, but the cabs have strippers' [advertisements] on top of them. The perception of Las Vegas is a place to go and play. You're not going to turn this into Minneapolis. Vegas can't just change what it is. The Disneyworld thing failed; that was like making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. And how are you going to bring in major businesses if people are going to sweat through their suits?
Vegas routinely lands on Fortune's annual list of best places for business, is recognized as one of America's most entrepreneurial cities and made various appearance in Fortune of late (profile of Harrah's boss Gary Loveman and unionizing efforts at Wal-Mart). Doesn't that mean we arrived?
I have no idea. I'm only responsible for the back of the book and my fatuous humor.
A quick game of Vegas Trivial Pursuit: What generates more money, gaming or nongaming?
I'm guessing you want me to say nongaming, at which I would really be surprised.
Really. What are they spending money on?
Yes, dining, entertainment and shopping outpace gaming.
Shopping. Really. I find that not only not amazing, but tedious.
Seen any shows?
I fell asleep at O once.
Did the "What Happens Here, Stays Here" media campaign hurt Vegas' perception as a good place to do business?
No. People would go to Brussels if they wanted to go to a place to with a reputation for being good for business. People want to go to Vegas to give the appearance they are conducting business when they are actually out having fun.
We locals certainly appreciate you tourists coming here and contributing to our economy. What you spend in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
I have a three-day limit. I can spend two weeks in Paris, years in the south of France or in Rome, or a long time in New York City. Spend three days in Las Vegas and you begin to cry. I don't know why that is.
Vegas was one of three cities to post positive job growth after 9/11. Doesn't that say something for the business climate?
Maybe people want to have fun. Maybe they're not putting off things quite as much.
There's been a big push for economic diversification and it's achieved some success—the film industry annually generates more than $100 million.
Las Vegas is a great place to shoot films and television shows. It can do these types of things. Las Vegas gets more and more successful at what it does well—it knows how to do casinos, food, entertainment and hospitality. You can upgrade Las Vegas and make it sweet and happy, but the essence of the place, the universal selling principle of the city, has to do with people coming to have fun. Trying to change that is like Sylvester Stallone suddenly deciding he wants to do Shakespeare.
Anything you like unconditionally about Vegas?
Gambling ... but I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like it that you put coins in a machine and this paper comes out. It takes all the fun away from walking around with a bunch of coins in a cup.