Oh, those pesky spring-breakers. Once again, they're swarming our fair metropolis for a week of classic debauchery. Well, for them it's a week; for us, since various colleges break at different times, it's almost a good month.
A recent report on Inside Edition stated that Vegas has actually become the No. 1 spring-break destination, surpassing even Palm Beach and Cancun. Why are the kids coming to Vegas? It's not the gambling. It's the clubs. These kids want to party their brains out, and the Vegas club scene is there with open arms.
My mail this past week has all been from spring-break kids with lots of questions. For example, one young kat asks, "Digital Tony, I've got a sweet fake ID, will it work?"
Sorry, my son, the answer is no. Back when I was a 19-year-old punk passing myself off as 25-year old Travis Bickle of Utah, my ID was a flawless, genius creation. Now, the Rain doorman would laugh himself dead. These guys are skilled professionals who have the ID book memorized. They can spot a fake a mile away. There are millions of dollars at stake with these clubs, and a casino can't risk the powers that be busting them for having underage drinkers on the premises.
I also got a number of questions on which clubs are best for the younger crowds. Rain is the obvious choice. Legions of MTV fans flock to Rain like flies to you-know-what. MGM's Studio 54 is along Rain's lines. If you want the full Vegas spectacle, those two are it.
The Rio's Bikinis and The Beach are two other clubs which normally don't make my to-do list, but are my top recommendations. These spots are big-budget frat parties on steroids. Friday at Bikinis, party with those lovable documentary filmmakers from Girls Gone Wild. Over at The Beach, they're promising a week of X-Treme Spring Break. The Beach folks have been doing their thing for nine years now, making them the longest-running club in town. Both are raucous, rowdy and feature some of the sexiest staff in town. And yes, they've all got body shots.
Finally, the most frequent question: "Can you get me in for free?" Well, yes, I could. But I won't. I get one of you in, you tell a friend, they tell a friend, and so on. Before you know it, I've got the Queen of England e-mailing me to see if I can get her on Drai's guest list. No thanks, brother.
Don't worry, I've got a good alternative. You see, gang, there's this nifty invention called the Internet. If you head over to www.vegas.com, you can sign up to get on guest lists for all of your favorite clubs. Clubplanet.com, a newcomer to Vegas, offers up a similar deal. When you're done partying, check out NapkinNights.com. Their photogs are out on the prowl every night, taking pics of Vegas' scene.
I hope I've been able to lend a helping hand. I know many local kats can't stand the spring-break crowd, but cut them some slack. They're just blowing off steam and having a good time. We've all been there ourselves. Hell, it hasn't been that long since I was a rowdy, horny, drunken buffoon. Last Tuesday, I believe.
Antonio Llapur walks softly and carries a big club. E-mail him at [email protected].