LETTERS

Unlike some alternative weeklies, this one will never go around begging people to send in publishable responses to our work. This praise is entirely genuine:

I regularly read Las Vegas Weekly, mainly due to your covers. They are GREAT and creative ... and you always make the girls look great! I REALLY ENJOY your covers, collect them all ... thanks for the great job.

Editor's note:
Thanks, Gina, for that completely unsolicited comment!

I am NOT surprised that the spoof Last Comic Standing ran into trouble ("Who's Laughing Now?," March 11); spoofs are notoriously difficult to do. Having one overall winner was the object of the spoof, because as anyone with even a shred of common sense understands, comedy is a smorgasbord, offering something for every taste. Comedy, like all other arts, depends on the First Amendment rights.

I wish to submit the following proposal for your consideration for Las Vegas Weekly.

Franklin Pierce was the 14th President of the United States, serving from 1853 until 1857. In general, historians hold Pierce and his executive decisions responsible for the coming of the Civil War. This has helped to push Pierce into historic oblivion. This year marks the bicentennial of the oft-forgotten president.

The purpose of my article is to bring this awareness to a national level. Publishing my article would give its subject the credence and attention it so desperately needs at a very timely moment.

Editor's note:
By golly, Jennifer, this has cover story written all over it! Was Pierce by any chance a busty cover model?

Kate Silver's story last week about the virus at the California hotel-casino brought this response:

Your article about the virus outbreak in the California concerns me because I'm scheduled to attend a reunion at the California on March 28. I'm surprised that the Las Vegas Health Department has not inspected or issued some type of health warnings. As you stated in your article, all precautions were left up to the California, which I feel is not reassuring or sufficient to tourists.

Is there anyone who can put my mind at ease and reassure me that everything has been done to eradicate this virus problem? Perhaps I should cancel. Please let me know ASAP since I should be packing.

Hello, Sonja. I could not believe it when I saw your picture on the cover of the (March 4) Weekly. It was so weird how right away I knew who you were, and your name just came to me so quickly. It's weird 'cause I haven't seen or heard from you since junior high! That was quite a while ago! You probably don't remember me ... but I just wanted to tell you how great you look and how someone from a long time ago recognized you right away. Actually, you don't just look great, you look absolutely beautiful!! I used to have a crush on you in junior high ... I remember how much I loved your outgoing personality, and from reading your last two articles, you still have that great personality! And from seeing your picture, you still have that great body ... it has developed just a little bit since junior high.

Apparently the Nevada State Gaming Commission is satisfied it was "rogue" employees who rigged three drawings, which, along with multiple other violations, resulted in the Venetian being fined $1 million including costs. "Rogue" senior vice-presidents, who gained nothing personally from the rigged drawings? And I suppose Ollie North was a "rogue" colonel? Someone has got to be kidding.

One member of the commission announced he was a next-door neighbor and personal friend of Sheldon Adelson, owner of the Venetian, but that wouldn't affect his decision. These folks make Supreme Court justice and vice-presidential duck-hunting partner Antonin Scalia look positively saintly. Someone has got to be kidding.

Commission Chair Peter Bernhard tried to rationalize the decision by noting the rigged drawing was self-reported by the Venetian. The attorney from the attorney general's office who was representing the Gaming Control Board in its settlement recommendation responded that only one of three rigged drawings was self-reported. Any commission response to that? Are you kidding?

Nevada statutes empower the commission to "request that a district attorney or recommend that the attorney general prosecute" public offenses related to gaming (NRS 463.141). Did the commission make any such request or recommendation that criminal charges be brought? C'mon, you're kidding.

How are things? Do you still live in Nevada? Haven't heard from you in a loooooooooong time.