He Shoots, He Scores
The opening of this year's Wrangler hockey season is not just reason to celebrate the resumption of crashing bodies and whistling pucks. It's also reason to celebrate some creative marketing.
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Vote Now, Vote Often
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The results are in! Using the Weekly's warehouse of complicated supercomputers, we've predicted the results of next week's election. Actually, it was a single, standard laptop and Stardock's new presidential campaign sim, The Political Machine.
Despite the efforts of "the most liberal member of the U.S. Senate," the "out of touch" incumbent won his second term. The Risk-like game has all of the mudslinging and spin rhetoric of the real presidential race, and all the same hot-button issues (which will inevitably date the game). But even depositing the Bush-bashing, Michael Moore-ish, kook unit in Nevada (UNR couldn't be specified) didn't quite win Kerry the game's 270 electoral votes. Of course, it was a very close race, and the game doesn't support a recount, so the real victor could still be anyone's guess.
Halloween Parties
Most people pretty much know what to expect when buying tickets to something billing itself as a fetish and fantasy ball: naughty nurses, silicon breasts, leather-daddy policemen, silicon breasts, pimps 'n' hos, silicon breasts. Maybe then you can blame the influx of nanny state Californians for the instructions posted at
www.halloweenball.com.
"No nudity will be allowed. Pasties and liquid latex will no longer be acceptable, due to the wisdom of our elected officials, nor will rubber or other artificial genitalia. The fragile reputation of Las Vegas is at stake, after all. Costume weapons of any sort will also not be allowed. To avoid causing any major skirmishes or mobilizations of the "Prudes for the Elimination of Erotic Parties" (PEEPers), please cover your naughty creations when coming to and from the event."
DVDs
Control Room (NR) (4 stars)
$26.98
Even without Fahrenheit 9/11, this would go down as the year documentaries came of age as a weapon in political campaigns. Control Room examines how Al-Jazeera covered the early stages of the Iraq war, and one viewing provides more insight about the Arab world than what could be gleaned from a year's worth of network reports. Also new are Going Upriver, Bush Family Fortunes, Bush's Brain, Uncovered, The Hunting of the President, Outfoxed, Horns and Halos, The Road to the Presidency (about Clinton's campaigns), Stolen Honor, Celsius 41 11, FahrenHYPE 9/11, Buried in the Sand and George W. Bush: Faith in the White House.
America's Heart and Soul (PG) (2 stars)
$19.99
This documentary chronicling salt-of-the-earth Americans was in an awkward position when released. Arriving a week after Fahrenheit 9/11, this harmless homage to freedom and scenery was treated like an apologia for Bush's evil empire or a Moore-mania antidote. It's neither, instead drawing portraits of people whose stories are kooky, sappy, inspirational or heroic.
Dawn of the Dead: Director's Cut (NR) (2 stars)
$21.98
Director Zack Snyder's intention was to employ modern digital technology in the service of his exceedingly gory remake of George A. Romero's 26-year-old Dawn of the Dead, spending $28 million to re-create something that cost $1.5 million. The cast gives it their best, but why bother?
Bikini Bandits: Briefs, Shorts & Panties (NR) (2 stars)
$19.99
Steven Grasse describes his shorts as "Quentin Tarantino crossed with Russ Meyer." Maybe, but the series probably owes more to L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies. It coincides with the release of the animated feature, Bikini Bandits Save Christmas. Besides the bosomy babes with guns, it features "zombie strippers, muscle cars, voodoo magic and heavy artillery"—an instant holiday classic.