THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg I'm holding a dinner party and the guests are skeletons. I rush around, pouring drinks and serving food. There are jewels spread all over the table, which is huge, wooden and very old, as are the chairs. They're very ornate, with cobwebs on them. Suddenly, I'm riding a horse in a wedding dress. The horse falls and breaks his neck; the blood goes all over the dress. I scream, then wake up.
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I've read your column a few times and your advice is backed up by a lot of things that make sense to me. That's why I'm writing to you.
About a year and a half ago I fell in love with this guy. We broke up a year ago. For awhile I believed he was my soul mate, then a side of him came out that I'd never seen before, so I shut him out of my life. I talked to him last night after not speaking with him for about two months.
What I want to know is if he means anything in my life and if I'll ever love anyone as much or more than I loved him. Any advice is much appreciated.
Dear Engaged,
He was/is a soul mate; however, you two have a timing issue. That side you experienced was his way of showing that he was/is afraid to feel this deeply about anyone.
If you want him, you have to behave like it doesn't matter whether you have him in your life or not. He thinks loving someone equals a prison sentence because that's the type of love he's had in the past (clingy women looking to make him the focus of their lives). It's important that the woman in his life be a success on her own because he hasn't really settled his career path, so the last thing he needs is a woman who isn't defined.
However, I see an amazing sexual chemistry between you and I can say for certain that's a pretty big distraction. If (and this is a challenge) you can move forward more slowly together from this point and be friends before lovers for about six months, this relationship has a future. It can't be all about sex this go-round or it won't work. This time, it's about how the two of you intimately connect, mentally and emotionally. You're supposed to teach him about yearning in a country that's about instant gratification. Teach him to want you on all the levels you are—intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and lastly, physically.
No matter what happens from this point, this relationship will always be one of the most meaningful connections you experience. It's up to you if you want it to be for the rest of this lifetime.
I'm in a messy situation with my boyfriend and my sister. We were all friends, then I started to date my friend. My sister resented my boyfriends in the past and she recently got into a fight with my current one. She doesn't ever want to see him again and I think she's being so unreasonable.
I don't know what to do. I want a relationship with my sister, but I don't want to do what she always thinks I should do. Will we get past this? What should I do about my boyfriend? I'd love to hear your advice.
Dear Double,
If you were ready to commit to the guy you're seeing, you wouldn't need to consider my advice or your sister's. I don't like the guy you're seeing either, and it would've been better all around if you had all stayed friends.
This young man doesn't really have any direction in his life and has yet to take responsibility for it. What I also don't like is that he'll systematically push away your loving support system with friends and family so that the only person in your life is him. This one is not a keeper.
You have another man interested in you right now but you're not noticing him and he's the one I really like. Your sister deserves an apology, even if she was clumsy about trying to protect you; she's been the one there for the long haul.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her live, local radio show, "Psychic View," airs 10 a.m. Saturdays on Hot Talk 1140-AM. You may e-mail questions to [email protected].