Jon Porter TV Ad
Does having kids excuse everything? After viciously attacking opponent Tom Gallagher for essentially stealing money from his workers during his days as a casino exec, Jon Porter proclaims, "I'm Jon Porter, and these are my kids, and I approve this message." What? Does he think that because he's procreated, we'll forgive his mean-spirited attacks? They aren't even cute kids! They're, like, adults. Baffling.
—Josh Bell
Tom Gallagher TV Ad
Tom Gallagher sure knows how to craft an attack ad. Trotting out senior citizens is always a sure-fire winner, but trotting out senior citizens who used to support your opponent and now oppose him? Sheer genius. Gallagher gets former stars of Jon Porter campaign ads to testify that the congressman has failed them, and is able to look noble while still attacking his opponent. He lets the nice old people do the attacking for him, and hangs Porter with his own rope.
—Josh Bell
Harry Reid TV ad
"Pinky! ... Pinky! ... Pinky!" How do you feel about "Senator Pinky"?
After hearing about Sen. Harry Reid's cutesy-poo childhood nickname in those intensely folksy TV/radio ads about his homespun youth in Searchlight—"He still eats right here at the Nugget!"—the influential statesman and national political figure seems just a tad less ... statesmanlike. Say what you will about opponent Richard Ziser, but we'll bet he has a more dignified nickname. And if he doesn't, we're glad to give him one: Stinky.
—Steve Bornfeld
Ellen Koivisto mailer
Of all the political mailers to cross my doorstep this year, there was one that truly shocked me for the mean-spirited ugliness of its message. And no, it wasn't from a Republican. The Committee to Reelect Ellen Koivisto (given a B- from the Review-Journal, in part for being "a nonentity. Neither good nor bad") claims their Democratic candidate to be a wife, mother and grandmother. She must be one with a wooden paddle behind her back.
Mudslinging against her rival, Republican Richard Gardner for the staunchy liberal Assembly District 14, Koivisto's fans bring up Gardner's 1980s California conviction for a felony sex crime with a child under the age of 14. Such crimes are disgusting and vile, to be sure, but the Democrats take that extra step past the line in identifying the victim. We're sure the woman, now somewhere in her 30s, appreciates the attention.
—Martin Stein
Art Linkletter Radio Spot
Linkletter, who, we're guess-timating, is approximately 117 years old, is the voice of seniors in a radio ad we caught the other morning. In it, the venerable broadcaster apparently takes no political sides, but rather complains about candidates who "scare seniors" with talk of slashed Medicare and Social Security and prescription-drug programs if The Other Guy is elected. Artie concludes by urging us to contact such bogeymen-politicians and demand they stop frightening our elders.
Sounds reasonable enough.
Ninety seconds later, the same station aired a Kerry pitch ominously warning of a second-term Dubya privatizing Social Security, wiping out up to 45 percent of benefits.
—Steve Bornfeld
Bush & Kerry ads on Urban radio
There's probably a verb stronger than pandering (begging?) to describe the ads, which are long on old accusations but short on how the candidates will help African-Americans. One ad paints Bush as a fuddy-duddy on civil rights—"He even attacked affirmative action." Another uses the chorus to The Roots' song "Break You Off" to frame Bush as a modern-day Bull Connor who needs to be out of a job come November 3. The pro-Bush ad uses a woman whose scolding tone is reminiscent of Marla Gibbs on The Jeffersons to reshash Kerry's flip-flopping. There's less begging in a Keith Sweat song.
—Damon Hodge
Bush-Cheney traffic report sponsorships
The last couple of weeks, some morning traffic reports on local radio, usually sponsored by the likes of 99-cent stores or that hyperventilating Aflac duck, feature the reporter interrupting his road-congestion recitation to do a live line-reading bashing Sen. John Kerry for calling terrorism a "nuisance." Then it's back to the backup on northbound I-15. Can't we keep at least the traffic reports—and the traffic reporters—neutral? Whatever happened to nonpartisan motoring? Our roadways are one of the last apolitical havens where a Democrat can turn right, a Republican can swing left, or an independent can commit to an unauthorized U-turn, without guilt.
—Steve Bornfeld
Men's-room graffiti, Beam Hall, UNLV
"Vote for those that love American spirit," one student urges us. To which another has appended, "and vagina!" That certainly seems nonpartisan ... There are a few other political statements above the single urinal in this out-of-the-way restroom, notably one commenting on the homosexual proclivities of Bush supporters, decorated with a crude sketch of a penis. Most prominent of all is this sentiment: "Just fuckin' vote, please." Probably not how they teach 'em to write in Comp 101, but good enough.
—Scott Dickensheets
FahrenHYPE 9/11 ads
For the ultimate in preaching-to-the-choir campaigning, we direct your attention to Michael Moore's sworn enemies, who are countering the election-timed DVD release of Fahrenheit 9/11 with FahrenHYPE 9/11, the outraged conservative response, available on Overstock.com and hawked on new ads. The spots feature people who claim to be in Moore's cine-poli-diatribe but say they've never met the filmmaker, as well as screechily animated Ed Koch, New York's pre-Rudy Democrat mayor, exclaiming: "It's not a documentary ... IT'S A LIE!" We haven't seen it, but we're guessing it climaxes with Gov. Ahnold terminating the portly provocateur and banishing him to girly-man hell, where he's subjected to 24/7 stand-up by Whoopi Goldberg making bad Bush jokes. (We're told that "Bush" has a double meaning.)
—Steve Bornfeld
Jon Porter radio spot
"How to Be the Qualified Guy by Not Being the Unqualified Guy," or "Carpetbagging 101": We love the radio ad in which a wife reacts with dismay as her husband tells her that in the race for the third congressional district, Democratic challenger Tom Gallagher works for a rich law firm whose clients include the Saudi royal family, but more to the point, is a Hillary-sized carpetbagger who rented a Henderson home solely to run for office there.
"That makes the choice easy," she says, referring to Republican Jon Porter, who has not been mentioned to this point.
By painting such a compelling portrait of the incumbent and reminding us of his impressive accomplishments, we now have every reason for vote for Rep. Jon Porter. Or a write-in monkey.
—Steve Bornfeld