1.) Helped the nice widow of Liberia's late finance minister recover $16.4 million tied up in a London bank account. Funny, our cut should have arrived by now ...
2.) Sent a donation to Zell Miller's Rabies Treatment Fund.
3.) Figured out how many friends and relatives incorporate our birth date in their PIN numbers: 14.
4.) Spent quality time in chatroom arguing over sentencing guidelines for Hamburglar.
Country singer Toby Keith, writer of such lyrical gems as "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way" and "So we prayed to Allah with all of our might, and then those big U.S. jets came flyin' one night/They dropped little bombs all over our holy land/And man you should've seen 'em run like rabbits, they ran," is getting his own restaurant at Harrah's. "I Love This Bar & Grill" is slated to be a 17,000-square-foot venue featuring Keith's music and videos, a retail store and stage where he can make periodic appearances and host pro-war rallies. It's expected to open next summer. Yee-haw.
Congratulations to UNLV Communications Major Dani Pasqualicchio for winning third place in the Christopher Video Contest for College Students for her documentary Straight From the Streets: The Story of Linda Lera Randle El, about a local homeless activist. The Christophers is a nonprofit organization that uses mass media to motivate viewers to elevate the standards of public life. Pasqualicchio will receive $1,000.
The opening of the Fiesta Rancho's $7 million, $31,000-square-foot ice arena continues Sun City's current Ice Age. Consider these developments in recent years: The opening of Icehouse Lounge, a cool, retro lounge that used to be, well, an ice house (ice-making plant); the opening of Ice, a cool, retro "meta club"; and the Las Vegas Wranglers of the East Coast Hockey league setting up shop in the Orleans' new 8,100-seat arena (beating Downtown casino barons who wanted to build an ice rink for a minor league hockey team to the punch).
While Gray Matters has no statistical, peer-researched proof—largely because Gray Matters has no peers—the Fiesta's icy addition, along with the Orleans arena and the professional ice rink at Santa Fe Station gives Vegas more minor league hockey seats per capita than any other city on the galaxy, including Krypton.
In case you missed it, Vice President Dick Cheney hit town on Friday, fresh from four days of the GOP love fest and eager to stir Elephant Party faithful to work to deliver Nevada to Republicans come November 2.
True to form, Cheney, who's as personable as a toilet-bowl plunger, delivered a 3,200-plus word speech at Cashman Center that was more than 10 times more boring in recitation than it was on the White House's press-released transcript.
46: Times the word "applause" appears in parentheses;
15: Exact number of times the audience shouted "flip-flop";
12: Times the word "laughter" appears in parentheses;
3: Times the phrase "laughter and applause" appears in parentheses;
1: Mentions of the word "humdinger";
Plenty: The number of times the Chain Man said he and his boss will visit Nevada up until Judgment Day. Great, more boring speeches!
From the Eye on Vegas e-mail newsletter, Sept. 1:
"Ice Melts—Breaking Story
"Massive breaking news has surfaced from the Ice Meta-club that will change the face of the nightclub in a major way. The Eye has learned that earlier today the Federal Bureau of Investigations took over the free standing nightclub in the first stage of a massive investigation into money laundering..."
From a later dispatch of Eye on Vegas:
"In an effort to maintain our integrity, we are updating a previous story. After numerous phone calls to us and a bit more investigation, it appears that our sources were mistaken in their observations in the occurrences at ICE. As it may have appeared to be Federal Agents, the reality was different. At no time were there any representatives of the FBI or any government-related agencies on property at ICE."
"LV officials keeping eye on China"