If we've learned anything from the Celine Dion payola scandal—after all the prosecutorial posturing, the counter-arguing, the endless board-feet of ethical pondering issued by the lumber mills of punditry—perhaps it's this: Celine released some new songs in 2002. Went right past me at the time, although a fistful of record-company incentives might've prompted me to listen more closely.
Clearly we ought to draw a larger, more instructive moral from this tale, possibly something about our inconsistent ideas of guilt—yes, payola is against the law; on the other hand, perhaps it's time to decriminalize the act of bribing people to be interested in Celine Dion. If moral certainty is hard to find here, at least we can all agree on one thing: America can no longer count on record-company execs to model good ethical behavior. First Karl Rove, now this. Who's left to believe in?
I know what you're going to say: lawyers! But along comes the R-J with a report about frequently advertised personal-injury attorney Chad Golightly and his own alleged pay-for-play scandal. It seems he struck an ingenious agreement with a medical-services company: He would refer clients who need medical attention to the company; the company would refer victims needing legal help to him; and both would share the cost of his ubiquitous ads.
Well, you expect lawyers to be sneaky. But at least we can count on monorail executives to operate in a clean ... aw, damn. According to KLAS Channel 8, state officials are looking into a two-year-old agreement between different state officials and the monorail operator (which has since changed leadership) to give the troubled train system "charity" status, complete with tax exemptions and liberal expense write-offs. Presidential henchmen, record execs, lawyers, former monorail bosses, perk-disbursing state officials—America, our icons are falling one by one.
Remember, though, that guilt is a complicated issue. Take Joseph Landgaard, a former administrator at Bear's Best golf course, convicted of a felony last week for stealing golf clubs owned by ex-Gov. Bob Miller. Yes, the clubs were found in his house; yes, that was him captured by a security camera disposing of the bag. But, he insists, he didn't steal steal them. He took them to protect another employee, who had misplaced the clubs. "It was not a property decision, it was a cover-up decision," he told the court, according to the R-J.
If we've learned anything from this story it's this: the contingent nature of guilt. If you believe Landgaard—and why wouldn't you; it's not like he's a record-company executive—he took the clubs to help out an underling, to spare some poor sap from the terrible rage of Bob Miller. It almost sounds ... ethical.
That's how it goes in Bush's America, where all interests are conflicted, all conflicts are interesting and the word "ethics" must always be paired with "shmethics." That sucks, all right. But my heart will go on.
Let's Do the Math! |
-3 Education in crisis.* 205 LV schools fall short of fed standards (up from 141 last year). Officials blame No Child Left Behind act.
-3 Education still in crisis! School district falling 500 teachers short; will launch fleet of subs and bring in foreign teachers.
+2 Highway bill sends many millions to Nevada, ensuring traffic snarls in perpetuity.
+1 Proposed reality show set in nearby prison could help boost image of prison-work programs. No inmate left behind!
Final Score
-3
Quote that Wouldn't Fit Anywhere Else |
"We're going to insist (that they ease the requirements). We're not going to take the backseat anymore."
Summary Corner |
We Read The New Yorker's Profile of Harry Reid so You Don't Have to
On Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts Jr.: "Roberts is not a slam dunk. I'm just keeping, as some have heard me say, my powder dry until we find out what the deal is."
On President Bush: "I don't want to stick my finger in his eye, at this stage." ... "I just don't think he estimated me at all—under or over. [Now] I think he understands me a little bit more than he used to." ...
Funny Scene: The New Yorker's reporter, Elsa Walsh, is with Reid as he calls big Democratic donors: "In two out of three calls, he had to identify himself several times before the recipient figured out who he was. 'This is Harry Reid.' Pause. 'I'm a U.S. senator.' Pause. 'Harry Reid. I'm the Senate majority leader. Harry R-E-I-D.' When he hung up, he turned to me and said, 'I guess I'm not too well known in that household.'"
What's not said: That many Nevada Democrats blame him, as the party's alpha male, for not strengthening the party's hand in state politics; his puzzling protection of Republican Sen. John Ensign.
* Question of the week: In the R-J headline over this story (School district in 'crisis') did they use quote marks around "crisis" to indicate that it was a quote—or to cast ironic doubt on whether it's really a crisis? Given the R-J's attitude toward public education, you never know!
Scott Dickensheets is a Weekly writer at large. Give him crap (or cake) at
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