Oompah Liar!
From Opinion Journal, an e-mail newsletter from the WSJ:
"Another AP story brings us this earth-shattering August news:
A U.S. man who long claimed to have played one of Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompas in the original 1971 motion picture now admits he was lying.
Ezzy Dame confessed the fib Tuesday in an interview with the Reno Gazette-Journal. He said the false claim seemed harmless at the time but grew into a beast of a deception.
"'There is something so special when a child looks at a little person and they're not scared or feel that they're looking at a freak. When you say you played that part, they look at you and smile. They see you as a human being,' he told the newspaper.
"'I never intended to harm anyone or my community by this little white lie. It was a little white lie that became my haunted nightmare.'
"What can one say but: 'Oompa Loompa doompety doo, I've got a perjury rap for you. Oompa Loompa doompety dee, if you are wise you'll cop a plea.'"
Love Thy Neighbor; Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged ... or, We Really Don't Think You Gay People Are Equal To Us.
"Lutherans Reject Relaxing Gay Clergy Rules"—Guardian, UK
"Evangelical Lutherans Reject Easing Up On Gay Issues"—Houston Chronicle
"ELCA: No To Ordaining Gays"—Minneapolis Star Tribune
"Lutherans Agree To Unity Despite Differing Views On Gay Issues"—USA Today
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo. Yeah, It Sounds Dumb. Try This: You Are Traveling Through Another Dimension, A Dimension Not Only of Sight and Sound, But of Mind ... Next Stop ...
Though it'll probably lack the panache and production values of the original, locally-based Stark Theatre will present An Evening of the Twilight Zone, September 8-10 at the Magic Studio on Industrial Road (Tickets, $7; call 221-9842). The Starkers will stage three classic TZ episodes: "Eye of the Beholder," "Time Enough at Last" and "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" A suggestion, Stark: Host a Rod Serling sound-alike contest. We at the Weekly have been practicing. Problem is, we can't unlock our jaws.
Outsider's Point of View
Three Questions for Brad Wetzler, author of "Jackpot," a feature on Nevada in the September issue of Outside magazine.
What drew you to write about Nevada instead of one of the other 49?
"For me, the state has always been a blank spot on the map. I hadn't been there before—outside Las Vegas—and I couldn't fathom what filled all that empty space. For me, it was a mission to peel back the darkness of (what for me was) terra incognita. I think many Americans share that same longing to know what is out there in that big empty triangle-esque spot on the map."
Weirdest thing you encountered here?
"Getting dive-bombed by a C-130 cargo plane in Rachel. That, or simply hanging out with the mad, hard-core convention-goers at the Cal-Neva resort on Lake Tahoe."
What did you like most and least about Las Vegas?
"In truth, I like the whole scene. The lights, the monster resorts, the edginess, the tired nouveau Mediterranean architecture that every single apartment complex employs. It's overwhelming. It gets the heart pumping. I also like the excellent drink service you receive when you're losing at craps. Dislikes? The crappy drink service you get after you've gambled all your money away and are just lounging around in the casino, filling time. I also dislike trying to drive from one hotel-resort to another. It can't be done.
The traffic in general isn't so nice. Sprawl."
Does Homeland Security Know About This?
Along with boasting 945 condo units, an ultra-lounge and 281 meters of pure luxury, Ivana Trump Las Vegas towers' web advertising touts "unobstructed gunbarrel views of the Strip." It's an industry term, right? Right?
Who Can Blame Her? Or, Some Things Just Aren't a Match: Madonna and Vegas
From DotMusic:
"Madonna snubs Vegas ...
"Madonna is reported to have turned down an offer of $82 million to appear in her own show in Las Vegas.
"The Queen of Pop is said to have received the gargantuan approach from Vegas deal-maker Jack Wishna.
"Wishna is understood to have attempted to woo Madonna with the promise of a show-stopping billing to compete with previous Vegas headliners Celine Dion and Elton John.
"However, the New York Post reports that Madonna, who is celebrating her 47th birthday (Tuesday), has rejected the deal, as she prepares to release a new album and take the record on tour.
"The new LP, Confessions On A Dancefloor, is due out in November, and is set to be preceded by a single, "Hung Up"."
Hey—Celine became equated with radio payola and Chrysler commercials; And Elton? He had the kitsch that made him Vegas-ready; but Madonna? Eh. She's been quoted dissing Vegas before, and for her to change tunes and while away her golden years here would just re-create the old image of Vegas as the place where stars come to die. Maybe her career is dying on its own, but in turning down $82 million, she rejects the Material Girl image and leaves Vegas all the better. Let Vegas get a fresher star for once.
With Apologies to Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again...
Those who think they got a bargain by using Ted, the low-fare service of United Airlines will now be experiencing the game "Guess Ted's Weight" during their cheap trip to Vegas.
According to the press release: "Customers receive game pieces and are then given helpful hints from the crew to help guess Ted's weight.
Hints could include number of passengers, weight of cargo, and gallons of fuel that the plane needs to take off."
All this for the once-in-a-lifetime prize of Mamma Mia! tickets ...
As if flying weren't annoying, er, uplifting enough ...D'oh!