Compiled by Richard Abowitz, Jeffrey M. Anderson, Josh Bell, Steve Bornfeld, Scott Dickensheets, Matthew Scott Hunter, Spencer Patterson, Benjamin Spacek, Chuck Twardy, Andy Wang and Xania Woodman
January 18
Wrong Place, Wrong Price
What do you make of a show that features a woman wearing the Luxor as a hat, a portrayal of Steve Wynn as Lloyd Webber's Phantom and a song saluting Cirque set to the Village People's "YMCA"? Evidently, that the biting satirical and short-lived show Forbidden Vegas should never have been inside the Westin to begin with, and that $62 is a tad too high for locals to pay to be made fun of.
February 5
It's a Mad House, I Tells Ya!
At Beacher's Madhouse's first show of 2005, the blood-alcohol content of the performers outdid that of the entire audience. By the night's second performance, comedian Artie Lange was so sauced he began to do his routine twice. But, hey, when the night kicks off with fistfight in the crowd, you know you're in for a bumpy ride!
February 16
Remember Where You Were ...
... When they canceled the hockey season on this day? Of course not. No one cared, except in Canada. We only note it to make fun of Canada.
February 20
Dead Time for Gonzo
Hunter S. Thompson killed himself, putting an emphatic period on a career that had dribbled on in a 25-year ellipsis. He put this city on the hipster map with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and if the sleazy fame the book generated eventually embalmed his career, it also entitled him to a nickel for every under-40 tourist who came here between the book's publication and the advent of "What happens here stays here."
February 24
Look, Honey! Buttocks!
Barry Manilow a few feet over the audience's heads doing a bump 'n' grind to Groove Armada's "I See You Baby (Shakin' That Ass)." Isn't that one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse?
March 24
Nice SEAT for the Theater
Daniel Goldfarb's scorching comedy-drama, Adam Baum and the Jew Movie, about Jewish/Gentile identity crises, hidden prejudice and the cultural cost of assimilation in the wake of the Holocaust was treated to a brilliant staging at SEAT, with haunting performances by John Wennstrom and Erik Amblad, directed by Ernest Hemmings.
March 24
Handheld Joy
The PlayStation Portable debuts to compete for the handheld market with the GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Unlike the latter two, the PSP also plays films on universal media discs, and UMD movies quickly begin to outsell games on any of the three portable systems.
April 5
Saul Gone
Saul Bellow dies at 89. Perhaps the great American novelist, the Nobel Prize winner will be remembered for masterpieces like Seize the Day, Humboldt's Gift and Herzog. His politically incorrect novels are known for dealing in big ideas and neurotic personalities.
Go-Go a No Go
Things got a bit hairy at the Go-Go Team Competition at Tabú when a minor score miscalculation resulted in $10,000 being awarded to the wrong contestant. After briefly revisiting the numbers, DJ Gumbee and his partner, go-go dancer Danielle, graciously turned the check over to the rightful winners, DJ Miss Joy and dancer Tera.
May 6
Critics Love the Bomb
After winning acclaim for his simplistic screenplay for Million Dollar Baby, Paul Haggis dropped a heavy-handed bomb with Crash, an overpraised piece of manipulative hokum that hoodwinked critics all over the country with its clumsy take on racism. Who needs complexity when you can reduce all human interaction to one factor?
May 19
Boggling Bogosian
Pounding Nails in the Floor With My Forehead, a series of savage-funny-penetrating monologues by Eric Bogosian, theater's angriest-wittiest poet, got a dose of rocket fuel from dramatic missile-launcher Ernest Hemmings, giving the performance of his Las Vegas career at SEAT. A one-man act of virtuosity, Pounding Nails is a race through Bogosian's oddball landscape littered with characters that reflect his askew view of modern life. Hemmings met the challenge on every level, packing both hilarity and a satiric wallop underscored by Bogosian's knack for finding the sadness in madness.
Not So Long Ago, Not So Far Away
Though George Lucas claims his Star Wars films are based on history hundreds of years old, Revenge of the Sith revealed a very recent echo when Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), newly turned to the dark side of the Force, warns Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."
Designers Do Vegas
"Architects meet in Sodom, have nice time." It was just one of the thousands of conventions in Las Vegas this past year, but its 25,000 attendees were less likely to crap out or to indulge in a lap dance than to carp about crappy simulacra. When the American Institute of Architects held its annual meeting at Mandalay Bay's convention center in May, reaction was, for the most part, respectful. Oh, a few huffed about it, but on the whole, the confab helped to confirm what some of its members long knew: Las Vegas is a serious city whose influence on design merits attention.
May 31
Mulder Was Right!
Mark Felt is confirmed as Deep Throat. In 1972, this was a political story about who leaked information regarding the Nixon administration to the Washington Post. But by 2005, when it was revealed that onetime FBI administrator Mark Felt was Deep Throat, the figure in the trench coat and the garage meetings had become pop-culture icons that dwarfed the reality of this poor guy.
June 13
Hot Coffee Burns Rockstar
As if the creators of the Grand Theft Auto franchise hadn't already brought enough political heat down on interactive entertainment, they really spice things up when people discover the "Hot Coffee" mod, which reveals hidden sex scenes in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
June 18
Dead Man's Party
A horde of zombies descend upon the Palms to help promote the world premiere of Land of the Dead during CineVegas. Director George A. Romero and star Dennis Hopper make personal appearances, but the highlight of the evening occurs onscreen, when Hopper's self-appointed despot declares, "We do not negotiate with terrorists!"
June 25
And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead at House of Blues
Sure, it was a smaller and less active audience than they deserved. But Austin's masters of destruction bashed through an energetic set of punk/art rock, culminating in a group wrecking of drum kit and mic stand that left us all laughing hysterically and howling for blood. Their rendition of "Worlds Apart"—a waltz-time indictment of the American way of life so pointed I'm surprised the CIA hasn't hauled them off to a black site yet—literally raised goosebumps, and they tore through every other note-perfect, highly charged song like it was indeed the last time they ever would.
July 2
Will Rock for Food
Live 8: 10 simultaneous concerts throughout the world to fight poverty. A lot of good was done. But is it selfish to mostly remember how great the Pink Floyd reunion was?
July 11
It's Clobberin' Time!
Fantastic Four somehow entices enough viewers to earn $56 million during its opening weekend, helping to end a 19-week slump in box-office sales. After much rejoicing, everyone can now go back to their everyday lives. The bad news is that despite skipping Episodes 1 through 3, there will now most likely be a Fantastic Five.
July 12
Poker and Music
Like a few hundred bona fide geniuses and more than 5,000 hopeless fools, I played in the main event of the World Series of Poker. A couple of days after busting out, I was still walking around the Rio in a daze, and then I heard the music. There was, I guess, some high-school theater event going on simultaneously. And as I walked out of the poker tournament trade-show area, I heard the unmistakable sound of teenagers wailing, practicing the theme song from Rent: "525,600 minutes ... how do you, do you measure a year?"
I stopped and listened and stared and then headed over to Wynn, newly inspired, and crushed the cash games.
July 15
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Probably the funniest line of the year comes in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when the know-it-all Mike Teavee (Jordan Fry) tries to explain how things work to Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp). Rather than suffering fools, Willy's response is simply shouting: "Mumbler! Seriously, I cannot understand a word you're saying!" Too bad Willy couldn't have coached Heath Ledger a little on Brokeback Mountain.
July 16
The Magic is Back
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is released. In what is becoming a right of passage for generations of children, the latest installment of the Harry Potter series packed bookstores at midnight with young fans celebrating in costume while excitedly awaiting a chance to read what happens next.
July 21
An Actress to Watch
A crackling brushfire of comic verve, Katie Harper's turn as Princess Winnifred the Woebegone re-lit the memory of Carol Burnett's breakthrough role at the Super Summer Theatre Production in Once Upon a Mattress, executing an outrageous star turn as the brash princess who swims the moat to reach the palace where her true love just might dwelleth. If there were any rafters to raise at Spring Mountain's open-air venue, Harper would've blown 'em off their hinges.
July 22
And Boy, Did They Ever
Paul Haynes labored for years and sunk $8 million into his debut in the rock 'n' roll magic show As Worlds Collide at the Aladdin. When the curtain finally rose, Haynes nearly fell off a malfunctioning platform as it descended, only to have to jump off the last few feet when it froze. Things only got worse from there, with cheesy music, clearly seen trapdoors and tired tricks. The audience that stayed had a sense of humor, though, calling some patrons who were fleeing midshow "cowards."
August 13
Shoulda Been There
Shelby Lynne's concert at the Clark County Amphitheater was sparsely attended, but those who showed up were treated to possibly the best live performance of the year, an incendiary set of Lynne's iconoclastic country music, highlighted by stellar guitar work from Ben Peeler.
August 19
Asia Major
Those of us reared in the early 1980s with bad taste in bad music could experience not one but two moments of triumph as Asia's "Heat of the Moment" thundered from movie screens this year, once during Judd Apatow's The 40 Year-Old Virgin and again during Richard Spehard's The Matador. In the former, Steve Carell's character even sports a framed poster dedicated to the forgotten band. I wonder if my cassette player still works?
August 22
No More Pooper-Scoopers
Nintendogs releases to instant success in the U.S. In Japan, the craze had already reached Tamagotchi proportions. The virtual puppies have the gaming public screaming "Sit!" into their Nintendos like lunatics and rewarding the lifelike pooches with a scratch of the stylus.
August 28
The Killers Kill
I've heard stories about Brandon Flowers and the Killers being nervous performers, but their performance of "Mr Brightside" at the Video Music Awards was all boundless energy and swagger and giddy fun. The guys in Fall Out Boy and the Bravery could still clearly kick this skinny dude's ass, but Flowers can sleep soundly knowing that he's the one with a future.
September 2
Speaking Truth to Power
Music's indelible moment in 2005 wasn't even a musical moment. It was seven simple, spoken words from the mouth of hip-hop star Kanye West: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Admire West or abhor him, love Bush or loathe him, you won't soon forget the startling proclamation. Or the look on Mike Myers' face.
September 5
But Where Do You Pin the Corsage?
Nothing like a trip down memory lane on a red carpet. Club-industry locals were given the opportunity to recapture their youth and express themselves at the Las Vegas Prom at Green Valley Ranch in ways that many high schools might not have looked too favorably upon. Like pasties.
September 8
Q Rating
Lewdly, even crudely laugh-out-loud funny, the Broadway puppet/people hit Avenue Q branched out to Vegas. Led by Tony nominee John Tartaglia in a gorgeous, specially built theater in Wynn, the Q crew bowled over audiences with such riotously racy tunes as "It Sucks to Be Me," "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist," "If You Were Gay," "You Can Be as Loud As the Hell You Want (When You're Making Love") and the show-stopping "The Internet Is for Porn."
September 22
Theater that Hurt the Head
The only play in 2005 I entered in good health and with good faith, and exited in bad humor with a pounding migraine was Empress Theatre's Take Off Your Clothes, I'll Make You a Star. Velveeta had nothing on this stink-to-high-heaven cheese, a headache in two acts about a bedraggled Hollywood acting school bulging with nearly 30 boring characters, atrocious acting and horrid direction. The only nice thing I could scramble to say: Nice of them not to pick a bigger playhouse that held more paying customers.
October 13-23
Where Were You?
When fewer than 20 people showed up for a terrific panel on satire and social commentary at the Las Vegas Valley Book Festival, this city's culture-types lost their license to whine about the lack of good shit happening here. They were revealed to be just as convenience-oriented as all the squares they secretly think they're better than. Too-thin crowds greeted nearly every Festival event, and so what if they were held all the way Downtown? What, they were supposed to do it in your living room?
October 29-30
Viva Vegoose!
Hippies, hipsters and hip-hop heads unite! The inaugural Vegoose festival touched down at Sam Boyd Stadium on Halloween weekend, bringing together more than 35,000 fans and acts as dissimilar as Widespread Panic, Beck and Blackalicious. A most welcome addition to the scene, the well-conceived and well-run event should be a can't-miss for area music fans for years to come.
November
Arrested's Life Sentence
The death watch for Arrested Development, the little-watched but much-loved Fox sitcom, has been more painful than the one for the pope earlier this year. Sure, it's clever and innovative, but it's also overrated and has already lasted three seasons. Sometimes you just have to let things go.
December 13
The Jayne Mansfield Story released on DVD
We all have our video holy grails—the cartoon or movie we loved in childhood, now lost. But mine finally resurfaced in 2005, every bit as great as I remembered. This 1980 TV movie features Loni Anderson at the height of her WKRP pulchritude in the title role: Showing off her fabled 163 IQ, busting out of her leopard-print bikini at a press conference, stumbling through her pink mansion, muttering "Where's the vodka?" Bonus: Jayne's muscleman hubby is none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger, running around a heart-shaped pool in speedos, shrieking "I loff you Jaynie!" However, I hope the biopic starring Lynda Carter as Rita Hayworth stays gone.
December 15
Bad Taste Averted
"Nothing happened" is almost never news, outside of Monty Python's Flying Circus. But in a nothing moment last year, we dodged a farce worthy of the British wits. When the Ivana Las Vegas collapsed earlier this month, before spade one turned, we were spared having the tallest of the new crop of condo hotels named for the divorcée of the developer building an eponymous tower down the boulevard. This might seem a minor affront in a town inured to indignity, but preserving the Strip skyline from preening exes passes for a sign of civic maturity. It's just good to know we lack the concentration of upperclass twits needed to populate a tower named for a Trumpette.