THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg Ashes in the basement kept catching fire. A man put it out but didn't realize there was more fire underneath the ashes. They caught fire again and I was unable to warn the man so I picked up a dog, some paperwork and left.
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I've been married to my husband for 21 years, however for the last three years, I've secretly been in love with a younger fellow co-worker. One day about three years ago he turned around and gave me the biggest, most beautiful smile. I had the weirdest feeling—like a bolt of electricity went through me and ever since, all I can do is think about him.
We've been friends and have even met secretly two or three times for reasons I don't want to mention. It was nothing sexual. He's been involved with someone for a long time. I've never told him how I feel because I can't see how any good would come of it.
I feel stuck in my current relationship, as my husband was injured and probably won't ever go back to work—not only because of the injury, but other difficulties in his life. He has no income of his own, and I can't see myself throwing him out on the street. Each day seems to get harder and harder because I have no way of dealing with the feelings I have. Is there a chance we'll ever be together?
Dear Yearning,
This young man is simply your catalyst for change. Before you and I go into LaLaLand over Mr. Hunky at work, you have to know that the reason he was presented to you was to remind you that you're attractive, considerate, delightful and smart. You know: Those feelings you haven't had around your husband these days.
Consider your young man a guardian angel and here to make you realize that you can't go on living like a robot in your own home. Change has to happen in the relationship with your husband. He needs to deal with his depression and the results of his injury. He requires both physical and psychological therapy and any resource that would help him feel vital again. Your husband feels your detachment from him and I'm afraid that's another dark step down that spiral of his depression.
Do I see you with this young man? No, but I do see you getting annoyed enough with your situation that you do something about it. If you really want to test this, tell your young man that you're in love with him. I promise, his demeanor toward you will change radically. He considers you "safe" because you're married and older; you're like a member of his family. Throw in that little tidbit of information and he'll begin to avoid you. If you want to maintain the feelings you have right now, don't tell him how you feel.
If you can't convince your husband to go to therapy, it's important that you go. Your life is at a breakthrough point and this is an opportunity for change. I see that if you look hard enough, there's help out there for your husband, and in turn, help for you to face this karmic situation. Everything stays stale unless you direct your attention toward your husband's well-being. I see that breakthrough within three months. If your husband had even a 10th of the pure attention this young man receives from you, his disposition would improve.
I know it's difficult for you to speak to the man you fell in love with twentysomething years ago, but that's the man who yearns for your regard. He still looks at you as the woman he fell in love with, and the crankiness you're getting from him is partly because he can feel your romantic attention is directed elsewhere.
There's such power in love. Think of your gaze as though it has the power to heal. You've experienced that power in a simple smile from a young man. That's what I'm talking about, that moment of pure attentiveness to another person so it seems as though it connects with the soul. You live for those moments with that young man because it makes you feel very "you"—truly in the present, alive and powerful. Your husband deserves that connection with you and even though you'll feel as though you're being disloyal to your young man, your husband is your first priority.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her show, Midnights with Mona, airs weeknights on KDWN 720 AM. You may e-mail questions to [email protected].