In 1994, legendary B-movie producer Roger Corman filmed a version of Fantastic Four, based on the classic Marvel comic book created in 1963 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The film is so notoriously bad that it was never properly released, although bootleg copies are fairly easily available on eBay and often shown at comic-book conventions. For years, the Corman version of Fantastic Four was seen as the model of how Marvel should not license its characters out to anyone willing to pay for them, and should keep quality control on the way that their most precious franchises were handled.
It's surprising then, that Fantastic Four's eventual return to the big screen is so mediocre. Roger Corman was not involved, but the onetime flagship of Marvel Comics (they've since been eclipsed by the likes of Spider-Man and the X-Men) has been handed to director Tim Story, whose previous works include Barbershop and Taxi. A slapdash cast, dodgy special effects and a limp script round out the package, which, while not quite the train wreck it appeared to be in previews, is certainly nothing exciting.
On a mission to study a cosmic storm in outer space, brainy scientist Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), gruff pilot Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), brash, young Johnny Storm (Chris Evans), his fetching sister, Sue Storm (Jessica Alba) and arrogant industrialist Victor von Doom (Julian McMahon) are exposed to the phenomenon they are tracking, and as a result, each gains extraordinary powers. Reed becomes a sort of human rubber band, Ben turns into a massive slab of rock, Johnny gains control over fire and Sue gains the power of invisibility. Unbeknownst to the rest, Victor, jealous of Reed and crushed when the failed mission bankrupts his company, slowly turns metallic and wields the power of electricity.
After an exciting opening sequence detailing the group's origins, the movie grinds to a halt as the central quartet sit around and make jokes while waiting for Reed to whip up a machine that will cure them all of their powers. In a strange twist for a superhero movie, there is no world-ending threat, and Victor doesn't even get around to being particularly villainous until the movie is almost over. Story seems to think that Fantastic Four will work best as either a mismatched buddy comedy pairing the angsty Ben with the lighthearted Johnny, or a romantic comedy pairing onetime lovers Reed and Sue.
He's wrong on both counts, and while Evans gets in a few good one-liners as the sex-crazed, extreme-sports-loving Johnny, the film goes straight downhill after its opening. Even when the team finally sees some action, the effects are so fake-looking that it's hard to suspend disbelief long enough to get excited. Chiklis, buried in a ridiculous latex suit, growls excessively, perhaps to draw attention away from how stupid he looks.
Story doesn't commit any gross errors, and the film is genial in its own limited way. But it fails to generate real excitement, and its stars are either bland or mismatched or both (Evans and Alba look nothing like siblings). No doubt Roger Corman's version was worse, but it was probably more entertaining.