LETTERS

Mash Notes, Hate Mail, Urgent Communiqués, Secret Messages, Thesis Pieces



What's the Difference Between Hardbodies and Bikinis' Girls?



I am writing in regards to the Readers' Choice Awards in your magazine (March 10-16). I must admit I am impressed with some of the results. It makes me want to go out and try some of these places.


Although, I have a bone to pick regarding the bartenders that were chosen as the sexiest at Bikinis. They may be cute and sexy, but don't call them "hardbodies." Hardbodies are people who have some muscle tone on them, who look like they work out, and I don't mean the grossed-out muscular look. A lot of these girls don't even look like they have lifted a weight in their lives. We as hardbodies work damn hard to look good, toned, fit, proportioned and symmetrical, not skinny as a rail. I am in my mid-40s and am considered a hardbody. I get a lot of compliments about how fit I look and that I look better than most 20-30-year-olds; that's because I work very hard at keeping in shape. Being fit and toned with some muscle is very attractive and looks healthier. So please, don't call those girls hardbodies, because they are not, they are more like soft bodies.




Anonymous



P.S. I do like your magazine a lot and I pick up every issue each week at my gym. Hey, how about putting in some pictures of hardbodies?



Editor's note:
You can say we're going soft, but we'll stick with the Bikinis' girls.




This Week's Best Letter Parsing the Pointless Arcana of Trademark Laws, Coffee Terminology and Battlestar Galactica




Last week, we ran a letter from a reader bemoaning—yes, bemoaning!—the selection of Starbucks as Best Cup of Coffee in our Readers' Choice Awards. That letter prompted this letter:


I am surprised that you did NOT take Mr. Agneson to task for the mistaken idea that Starbucks has copyrights on any of "its" terminology. Starbucks and most other companies do NOT own their names or any other words, no matter how unusual, necessary to conduct business. Grande has been the name of a river for much longer than Starbucks has been using it in business. What they MAY be able to copyright is the combination of the name and a particular type style, but even this is questionable. For those too young to know any better, Starbucks is, I think, named after a character in the original Battlestar Galactica series of the late '70s.


Also, I believe the correct pronunciation of the Planet Uranus, named from Greek MYTHOLOGY, is "yur-in-us". Whether or not that is a commentary on heredity is open to question.




John Edward Mahalo D'Aura





Bottoms Up, True Believers!



I can't stand it anymore! Timothy R. Carroll responding to Mayor Oscar Goodman's comments to a class of fourth-graders makes me sick. (Letters, March 10.) A Bible, huh? No doubt the book of Mormon. This animal farm we live on, of course, has some people more equal than others, and whether they're pseudo-Christians (The Mormons—you know, Church of LSD), Muslims or followers of the demigod George, they can all go f--k themselves! Oscar Goodman (and I don't support him) has rights too. Drink up!




Donald Cleland





That Train Don't Stop Here Anymore



First, thank you for producing a GREAT weekly newspaper in the city of Las Vegas. My wife and I are avid readers. The reason I am writing you, the editor, is your section of movie reviews. My wife and I are huge Vin Diesel fans and have been since the start of his career. After reading the March 10-16 issue, we find that your movie critic did not even bother to view and review his latest movie, The Pacifier.


It is rare that we have a family movie of this caliber come along. This movie was No. 2 last week, and made $18 million! The problem we found in your movie review section is that just about all the other movies were reviewed; what happened to The Pacifier?


We feel if your newspaper has a section to view and review movies, you should view and review them all, not just the movies your critic chooses.


With the prices of movies these days, we rely on the movie reviews to decide on whether or not it is worth spending our money on this movie.




Wayne M. Mumford





We Interrupt These Letters About Hardbodies, Vin Diesel and Easter Pets to Bring You this Important Political Perspective



Liberals who are horrified over the nomination of Paul Wolfowitz to head the World Bank are focusing on the wrong target: It is the Bank itself that should be considered horrifying. The selection of former Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz to head the World Bank is "truly terrifying," exclaimed an anonymous British official.


Paul Wolfowitz has been surprisingly candid in admitting that the war in Iraq was fought for reasons other than those advertised. "For bureaucratic reasons," he told Vanity Fair magazine, "we settled on one issue, weapons of mass destruction, because it was the one reason everyone could agree on."


If Wolfowitz is at all troubled by the fact that 1,500 Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis have been sacrificed on the altar of his artifice, he conceals his grief very well. His promotion is typical of an administration in which high-ranking officials follow a Soviet-style career path by failing upwards.


I think that Wolfowitz is following in the footsteps of Robert McNamara, the captain of the Vietnam tragedy, who left his post as secretary of defense to become president of the World Bank. So Bush is establishing a bipartisan tradition: You screw up a war, you get to run the World Bank. With this announcement, the impoverished of the world have less reason for hope, because the World Bank has been loaning enormous sums to oppressive socialist and authoritarian regimes for decades.




Frank M. Pelteson





On the Other Hand, They Make Great After-Easter Snacks (Just Kidding, PETA!)



As we approach Easter, it is time to warn people against buying baby rabbits, chicks and ducks. Rabbits are the third most numerous animals dumped in our shelters, who along with baby chicks and ducks, are victims of our disposable society, often perceived as toys or objects for frivolous amusement for kids.


Often, within days these animals die from rough handling, stress and lack of proper knowledge on caring for them.


You can help prevent unnecessary suffering this Easter by giving your children stuffed animals. Animals are not toys and nothing with a heartbeat should be given as one.




Linda Faso





No



Over 43,000 persons die every year—3.3 million have died since the auto began. Would you please print the number of national highway deaths daily or weekly in your paper?




Arnold Massirman

President, Safer Autos National Enlistment Inc.


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