THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg My girlfriend said she dreamt about writing a note for someone on Brad Pitt's chest! But it got too difficult so she wrote it on a piece of paper. What does that mean?
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I've read your column from the start and have been meaning to write with the hope that you might have some enlightening insight—alas, I am a procrastinator—and figured I wouldn't get a reply, knowing the insane amount of mail you no doubt get. But after reading Doubting Thomas' letter (January 27 issue) I figured why not give it a shot?
I'm 26 and have had a pretty messy last few years, not really having any certainty about a lot of things, pretty much just wasting my time. I recently started college again, knowing it's probably the only way I'm ever going to gain control of my life, although this huge part of me feels some people are meant to go far in life not having to spend all those years at school—I'm not much for studying. I just don't see how I can do what I love (whatever it is) and be successful at it without college.
Oh yeah, and can I find a girlfriend who fits me anytime soon? Or should I take the blessing of the single life and stick with my old philosophy of "why bother finding your soul mate if one of you's just gonna die on the other"?
Dear Z/C,
It's interesting that you used the word "ZEN" to sign yourself. It's with limited authority that I say that the purpose of ZEN is getting to "awareness"—that essence of you that looks through your eyes. That is the beginning and end; it is "all." However, most people never realize they already have their treasure: the awareness of the essence of Self. It is in that stillness that you find all your answers.
I'd like you to learn to speak in front of people. I hope that frightens you a little because at 26, it's time to decide on your life. This indecision is universal and your turning point in life. Your old way of life no longer applies. I keep seeing you in front of people, mesmerizing them with your charm and wit. Not in a "guffaw" sort of way, but more in a "wow, I think you're pretty swell too and let's explore the craziness of life" sort of way. Talk to people as though they're just friends you don't know yet.
When you're nice to someone, they're usually nice back. Dump any preconceived ideas of your abilities and just learn to be friendly. Though it would be nice to have a degree (and you'll be recognized as someone who can finish something), it won't be the degree that gets you the great job, the great girl or the great life. It will be the evolution of your sparkling personality that brings these things to you.
You're reminding me of how love adopts people. We had a stray cat show up at Thanksgiving. Madeline was our "outdoor" cat until we realized she was pregnant and subsequently had six kittens. She now resides in our bonus room with her offspring. In about six weeks, I'll find homes for these kittens (anyone want a cat?) and get Madeline promptly fixed. Now I'm (for the moment) that "lady with all the cats down the street." We didn't have to do anything for that love to show up at our home. Cat was nice to us; we were nice back—the blooming of a great relationship. (Timely presentations of cat food probably didn't hurt the relationship, either.)
You've done a great job of avoiding. You've frequently held yourself back from becoming involved—from experiencing life, really being in love, or throwing yourself into anything with abandon. What do I see as your magnetic formula? Earnestly learning things about yourself and others is the Alpha, and loving the process of your life is the Omega. Stop suffering about the life you've chosen; dust off your potential and do something with it.
By the way, real love doesn't die.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. You may e-mail questions to [email protected].