Well, it's been a couple of weeks since I joined It's Just Lunch, a dating service for busy professionals. Come to find out, it's not just lunch; sometimes it's cocktails after work and sometimes its just dinner. I was excited that the service offered so many options to accommodate the schedules of its busy members.
My matchmaker, Tammy, seemed to take a very special interest in me and was certain that she was going to be the one that would find my Mr. Right and that I would live happily ever after. She was so confident in fact, that she made me pinkie-swear that I would invite her to my wedding.
I assured her that if she found the man of my dreams, I would not only invite her to my wedding, but I would also clean her house, do her laundry, cook her meals, wash her car and feed her cat for the rest of her natural born life.
She was motivated.
My first date was with Steve; he was not exactly my type at first glance, but after sharing a nice lunch and several stories about himself, I found him to be quite interesting indeed. And aside from the obnoxious snort-laugh, double-finger-pointing thing he did, which he followed up with an extended fist, meant for me to bump knuckles with in acknowledgement of his not-really-all-that-funny jokes, he wasn't so bad.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and go out with him again.
Before our second date he cancelled—not once, but three times. When we finally got together again, the snort seemed louder, more obnoxious; I wanted to shove my napkin in his mouth. When I refused to partake in his gangsta-style knuckle-bumping, he was annoyed with me.
Things started to look bleak, so I decided to move on, before I strangled him.
Then there was Dave, who owns a construction company. He was very handsome and fit and he had just the slightest hint of the Southern accent I'm such a fool for. Dave was articulate, funny and intelligent. I had a good feeling about him. We had a nice evening complete with good wine and witty banter. He said that he wanted to see me again but he was going to be out of town for the next few days and would call to set up a second date when he returned.
During his absence, I lunched with Mark, a good-looking pilot who was a bit younger than me, and who made mention of the fact that he would probably be leaving Las Vegas within the next two years. Due to a sudden emergency, I had to cancel our second date at the last minute. Mark was a nice guy and I felt terrible, but in the end decided that it didn't make a lot of sense to try to cultivate a long-term relationship with someone who was not going to be sticking around much longer, so I moved on.
Then there was Alan, a real-estate investor. When I walked into the Kona Grill to meet him, he was waiting by the entrance for me. I shook his hand and introduced myself. He didn't say a word, just nodded his head. By the time we found a place to park, the bar had filled up quite a bit. I had to lean in to hear what he was saying.
"You thure are nithe looking," he said.
"I'm sorry?" I asked, leaning in even closer. "I didn't hear you."
"I thaid, you are nithe looking, Thonja," he repeated.
Well, the poor darling, he had a little impediment.
I didn't want him to think me rude so I pulled back and smiled my thanks for the compliment. He seemed pleased and smiled back. And that's when I saw them, teeth that were so snaggly and snarly that I literally jumped back in surprise. He didn't seem to notice, but I was afraid, I was very afraid. He's going to eat me, I thought. There had to be at least 15 teeth too many in that mouth and they were humping each other to get out. Now, I'm sure he was a real nice man, but just the thought of kissing him instantly twisted my lower intestine. I moved on.
By the time I saw Dave again, I was literally over the moon to be in the company of someone that I found attractive both inside and out. Then he said, "I called the dating service today."
"Oh?" I asked, "Were you giving them feedback on a recent date?"
"Recent date? Why would I do that? I haven't. .." He paused. "Have you had any dates since we met?" he asked suspiciously.
I was a bit surprised to say the least, especially since he was only my second introduction and I hadn't even seen him for nine days.
"Yes, actually, I have been on a couple of ..." He cut me off.
"A couple?" he demanded. "I can't believe you! That surprises me. After we had such a connection?"
Uh-oh.
Visions of a future of possessiveness danced through my head. That coupled with the fact that he balked at the $50 bar tab and accused my friends of putting their drinks on our tab and running out on the bill. I was so embarrassed that I picked up the entire check. And then—you guessed it—I moved on.
As I lay in my bed that night, I felt like Browndilocks who was lost in the forest, searching for someone who would be just right. "This one's too dorky, this one's not here to stay, this one's too possessive, this one's teeth are all astray.
"Oh Browndilocks, what's a girl to do?"
I answered myself as I drifted off into peaceful slumber.
"Is it all them? Or could it be you?"
Sonja is a writer who covers the ins and outs of relationships. Or is it the ups and downs?