1. Tape several minutes of your bathroom toilet (empty, you sicko). Next time you have a party, wait for someone to go to the bathroom. While they're gone, stick the tape in the VCR and have everyone gather around and laugh until they return and come over to see what you're watching.
2. Unscrew the showerhead and drop in three or four Jolly Ranchers. Your soon-to-be ex-roommate/friend/spouse will unwittingly coat themselves in sugar, but won't realize it until several hours later when the massive swarm of flies descends on them.
3. Liven up long road trips by waiting for your passenger to fall asleep, then pull into a rest stop and park facing a semi-truck. Then honk the horn and scream. (The Weekly is not responsible for charges related to cleaning interior upholstery.)
4. Roll down a friend's car window and put a brick and some broken glass on the seat. Offer to split the $75 bill when the mechanic simply rolls the window back up.
5. Ask someone if they've ever seen an idiot magnet. When they say no, tell them you'll show them one and then just lead them around in circles until they get it. For your own safety, don't lead them into any rooms with sharp implements or baseball bats.
6. A prank that a woman played on Johnathan one time: Tell a friend their shirt is untucked in the back. When you helpfully tuck the shirt back in, leave a length of toilet paper dangling. Does it work? Johnathan wound up dating her for three years.
Local CD |
DJ Scott Stubbs (4 stars)
80's Remixed
The best DJs are able to take an original song and expand on it, making it more than what it was before without losing touch with the source material's mood. Stubbs does just that on his latest CD, the '80s synth sound perfect fodder for remixing. Most successful are "Dolby Dub Science," the disco-ized "Call Me" and the dance-ified "White Wedding."
Hello, Pot? This is Kettle |
One of the barbs Democrats are fond of hurling at Republicans is that they're all ignorant white trash living in trailer parks. (That's when they're not accusing conservatives of being rich evil geniuses living in guarded compounds.) But recently it was announced that the king of all trailer parks, Jerry Springer, will be taking his 10-week-old talk-radio show onto Air America, the left-wing network that has been struggling for both listeners and financial stability since its launch a year ago. It's heartening to see Springer join the network's other serious journalists like comedians Al Franken and Janeane Garofalo and original gangsta Chuck D. One of Springer's recent shows: The Terri Schiavo Case: Pro-Euthanasia Secret Lovers Who Are Also First Cousins.
Air America can be heard via the Internet at
www.airamericaradio.com.
DVDs |
Vera Drake (R) (5 stars)
$27.95
Not to diminish Hilary Swank's fine work in Million Dollar Baby, but Imelda Staunton was robbed. The unheralded British character actress invested an amazing amount of sensitivity, grace and humility into her portrayal of Vera Drake, a working-class woman who, in 1950s England, induced miscarriages in unwanted pregnancies for neither profit nor praise. Those viewers who can still see both sides of this particular issue will appreciate writer-director Mike Leigh's decision to play things straight down the middle. Through Staunton, he allows audiences the space to make up their own minds on Vera's guilt or innocence, heroism or naïveté. His sometimes excruciatingly drab examination of family life in post-war London also is engrossing.
Being Julia (R) (2 stars)
$26.96
Three-time Oscar nominee Annette Bening doesn't merely steal the show in István Szabó's otherwise routine backstage drama, she is the show. As the cradle-robbing diva in this adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham's novel, Theatre, Bening frets about getting old and unappealing while looking like a million bucks and still capable of acting up a storm. A less attractive lead might have been more convincing, but without Bening, the picture probably wouldn't have crossed the pond from England.
Stage Beauty (R) (3 stars)
$27.98
Those looking for a backstage drama with a bit more bite and credibility than Being Julia should sample Stage Beauty. In this compelling Shakespeare in Love wannabe, Billy Crudup's Ned Knyaston is the last male actor allowed to portray a female character on the British stage in 17th-century London, while his faithful dresser, Maria (Claire Danes), is the first woman to break the gender barrier. While not quite as much fun as Shakespeare in Love, Stage Beauty shares with that Oscar-winner a wonderful period feel and many humorously foppish characters who might have been inspired by Monty Python.
Apollo 13 (PG) (4 stars)
10th Anniversary Edition
$22.98
Those who already own a DVD of Apollo 13, Ron Howard's thrilling examination of courage in the face of almost incalculable odds and unprecedented terror, probably will take a pass on this anniversary edition. The only thing different is the addition of the full IMAX version of the still highly inspirational docudrama.