GRAY MATTERS

News, observations, stray thoughts + medically supervised brain drainings about our city



The Last Chili Pepper at Smith's, or, 'Hey Buddy, Are You Cutting In Line?!'


At 7:30 a.m. on Monday, Josh, 17, and his two friends—who all cut school for this—are the only ones standing in line at Smith's at Sunset & Sunset to get free Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets. They have been asked not to wait inside the store to but to stand on the sidewalk next to the building. Like many Las Vegans, Josh was hoping to get tickets the first time around during the Internet giveaway. "I was in school trying to get on the computer," he says. "They were gone in minutes. Only like six kids in my school got them." This time out he is determined not to miss them. "We're pretty die-hard fans." By noon the line had grown to around a couple hundred people hoping to get their hands on the disbursement of 5,000 tickets. Things were tense enough that a reporter was repeatedly challenged and interrogated by those far back in the line as a possible cutter. In the end, Josh and his friend scored 12 tickets and, it turns out, that means hope for those who didn't want to spend the morning in line—Josh and his crew are willing to scalp a few from their bounty: "We may sell the last four." May.




Neighborhood Watch



A recent Associated Press story on surveillance recently underscored just how omnipresent Big Brother is in Las Vegas. To wit, we've got:


• Airport cameras: McCarran International has three times as many as any other U.S. airport (many are used to keep watch on the slot machines).


• Cabbie cameras: Last year, the state Taxicab Authority required all Valley taxis to have cameras installed; as of late April, an estimated 40 percent of taxis were fitted with them.


• Casino cameras: Security personnel at most major casinos have a camera on a buttonhole or a shoulder pad; images are sent to a control room and, if necessary to police.


Add these to county traffic light cameras to detect cars in intersections and motorist patterns. If legislators approve a request by North Las Vegas officials, the cameras will be used in a two-year study of traffic habits.


North Las Vegas officials want to change a 1999 law prohibiting the use of cameras to gather evidence against drivers who run lights or get in accidents.




Interesting Actual Band Name of the Week


Lavay Smith and Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers. They're performing June 4 at the Sammy Davis Jr. Festival Plaza, the outdoor theater in Lorenzi Park.




'Hey, Rick, Do You Want Me to Take a Picture of You at the Street Fair?




—One tourist to another Downtown on Saturday, not realizing that the "street fair" was actually a costly and exhaustive Centennial parade that lasted four hours, had nearly 30 marching bands, 5,000 participants, dozens of floats and drew thousands of Las Vegans Downtown.




'You Pick That Up! Pick That Up Right Now and You Throw it Away!!'




—A grown woman on a blanket under a tree yelling to a grown man passing by at the parade who had thrown a cup on the ground and kept walking—at least until he was humiliated into picking it up and throwing it away.




At the Parade, Part III: 'I Just Lost My Earpiece. Shit!'




—One security guard to another at Fourth and Ogden. An hour and many floats later, still puzzled, he uttered, "It must have hit my helmet and fell off ... I wonder if I have to pay for it ..."




Homeland Security Tidbits, Part 2 of 2



While Nevada receives federal security dollars commensurate with its population size, Las Vegas does a little bit better among cities. In fiscal year 2005, Sin City received $8.4 million from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. That puts us in 24th place among major cities, ranking just ahead of Kansas City and just behind Denver. (Behind Denver?! How many tourists does Denver get?!) As of two years ago, Las Vegas was the 30th largest city in the United States, with 517,000 people. (Denver, by the way, ranked 26th, and Kansas City was 38th.) Cities with more people that received less money— in other words, cities we can thumb our nose at—include Columbus, Jacksonville, Milwaukee, Memphis and Austin.




Pass the Pot, Colonel


If you stick around long enough, you can claim to have seen everything—say, famed counterculture hero and motorcycling Easy Rider Dennis Hopper playing ... a colonel at the Pentagon. Earlier this week, NBC announced that Hopper, chairman of the board of advisors of our very own CineVegas film festival next month, will co-star in the new fall drama E-Ring, playing Col. McNulty, who, reports the Hollywood Reporter, has "a lifelong commitment to the military." Benjamin "I-Never-Should-Have-Bailed-From-Law & Order" Bratt co-stars in the five-sided-building-based series, which will air Wednesdays at 9 p.m., as the Peacock programming pooh-bahs send The West Wing to Sundays.


We'll look forward to E-Ring—and pray that no episode is directed by David Blue Velvet Lynch. But we'll put it to a vote: Everyone who wants to see a psychotic, heavy-breathing, sexually aroused nutjob colonel, raise your oxygen mask.




A Gay Person Can Be Some—But Not All!—Of a Human Being! And Some People Can Be A Tad—But Not All!—Patronizing!


From an AP story last week: "Although the poll found that half of Americans disapprove of gay marriages, 46 percent of those surveyed said they support civil unions that would provide gay couples with 'some, but not all, of the legal rights of married couples.'"




Oh, So That's How I Avoid a Horrendous Drug Addiction Problem. Why Didn't You Just Tell Me That on a Bumper Sticker and Save Me Years of Gut-Wrenching, Life-Ruining, Chemically-Dependent Anguish?




"Love your parents, not drugs."



—Bumper sticker on the back of a local SUV.

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