Saturday, October 29
Bikinis
Haunted Beach House with DJ Jazzy Jeff. $5,000 for best costumes.
Our suggestion: Harry Reid. Put on some spectacles and your best befuddled expression, topped off with a miner's helmet for the searchlight. Extra points for getting a friend to accompany you as John Kerry, whose failed 2004 slogan Reid has announced as his own.
Where: Rio, 3700 W. Flamingo Road
When: 9 p.m.
Price: Ladies free, men $20
Info: 777-6582
Plush
Summerlin Swamp Thing with Erotic Creatures from the Plush Lagoon and DJ Benny Black. Cash and trip for two to LA to see the Black Eyed Peas at the Key Club for best costumes.
Our suggestion: Kenny Guinn. Find an adult-sized duck costume and put one of your wings in a sling. Hand out checks with DMV stamped on them while explaining to people that Oscar Goodman is not the governor.
Where: 221 N. Rampart Blvd.
When: 8 p.m.
Price: $20, $30
Info: 869-2335
Rain
Night of The Creeps Halloween Celebration and Costume Ball benefiting the Boys & Girls Clubs of Las Vegas. Prizes for best costumes.
Followed by second annual Leather & Lace ball with DJs ROB and Hollywood. $10,000 and prizes for best and sexiest costumes.
Our suggestion: Oscar Goodman's liver. Get some heavily wrinkled, yellow clothes and shellac them until they become hard and crusty. Be sure to cut joints for your elbows otherwise you might not be able to tip that martini glass to your lips one last time.
Where: Palms, 4321 W. Flamingo Road
When: 7, 10 p.m.
Price: $50, $75
Info: [email protected]
Tabu
Naughty or Nice Lingerie Costume contest with New York DJ Richard Scotti. $1,500 for best costumes.
Our suggestion: Yucca Mountain. Construct a large cone from papier-maché with holes for your eyes and arms, and open on the bottom for your legs. Paint it brown and lightly dust it with luminescent paint. For an added fun effect, occasionally drop Litecubes behind you in lieu of radioactive rubble.
Where: MGM Grand, 3799 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: $20
Info: 891-7183
Sunday, October 30
Bikinis
Noche Latina Halloween's El Dia de Los Muertos. $1,000 for best costume.
Our suggestion: A Wal-Mart protestor hired by UFCW. Dress in comfortable clothes with a good hat and large water bottle. Carry a picket sign denouncing Wal-Mart's wages and working conditions while making $6 an hour without benefits and no lunch breaks. Carry a Wal-Mart application in your back pocket.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: Ladies free, men $20
Body English
Jenny McCarthy's and Jenna Jameson's Halloween Bash with DJs Vice and Dig Dug. $10,000 and prizes for best costumes.
Our suggestion: The Sierra Club. Dress in your crunchiest clothes from Vegoose. Remain humorless at all times, clutching a large book titled Little-Known Species That Are Safe but Experiencing Moderate Discomfort (any book will do as a prop since no one but you will know the contents).
Where: Hard Rock, 4455 Paradise Road
When: 10:30 p.m.
Price: Call for info
Info: 693-4000
Club Rio
Second annual Halloween Ball. $5,000 for best costumes.
Our suggestion: The Spaghetti Bowl. Buy several Hot Wheels cars and track sets. Attach the tracks all over your body by stapling them to your clothes. Place twin loop-de-loops on your shoulders and glue the cars into place, just like in rush hour! After awhile, head over to Body English in search of the Sierra Club and whip him with spare sections of track.
Where: Rio, 3700 W. Flamingo Road
When: 10 p.m.
Price: $30
Info: 252-7777
La Bete
Beauty and the Beast Halloween Celebration. $5,000 for sexiest and most beastly costumes.
Our suggestion: R&R Partner's Las Vegas slogan. Dress in a black leotard and affix a card to your chest that reads: "What Happens In Vegas ..." Carry various other cards that read: "Stays In Vegas," "Doesn't Happen Waiting in Line," Happens at Cheetah's," etc. Be sure to stretch before going out since people will expect you to be flexible.
Where: Wynn, 3131 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 11 p.m.
Price: $40, locals $30
Info: 770-3375
Light
Fourth annual Saints and Sinners Halloween Ball. $10,000 for sexiest costumes.
Our suggestion: McCondo. Construct a tall tower of cardboard or other flimsy yet lifelike material, with holes for your legs, arms and eyes. Then add more holes at random, flashing lights from electrical shorts and water leaks. Don't say we didn't warn ya.
Where: Bellagio, 3600 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: $40, locals free
Info: 693-7111
Pure
Halloween Party hosted by Wilmer Valderrama. $10,000, $3,000 and $2,000 for scariest and sexiest costumes.
Our suggestion: A sexually provocative billboard. Design a casino billboard showing a half-naked model and cut out a hole where your face will go. For an added effect, have a friend accompany you dressed as an outraged mother who is shocked—shocked!—that such things are allowed in Sin City.
Where: Caesars, 3570 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: Call for info
Info: 731-7873
Studio 54
Nightmare on 54th Street with DJs Frankie and Frank Moore and the 54 Dancers. $10,000 for most Erotically Delicious and most original costumes at 12:30 a.m. and 2:30 a.m.
Our suggestion: Las Vegas' high culture. Wear a tutu (Nevada Ballet), carry a violin (LV Philharmonic), ramble on about SEAT closing. Oh, and hide.
Where: MGM Grand, 3799 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: $20
Info: 891-7254
Teatro
Satisfy Your Hunger, a special Halloween after-hours. $1,000 for best costume at 5 a.m.
Our suggestion: Brandon Flowers of the Killers. Put on a skinny tie and some eyeliner and carry around a little keyboard. Act very self-important and start feuds with everyone else wearing musician costumes.
Where: MGM Grand, 3799 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 5 p.m.
Price: $20
Info: 891-3695
Studio 54
39th annual Beaux Arts Ball benefiting the Golden Rainbow, with Folies Bergere, Jubilee!, the Vamps, Brian Cheatham and Chippendales, and DJ Lisa Pittman. Over $1,900 to the sexiest, best overall and best group costumes.
Our suggestion: The Monorail. Slide into a tight green spandex suit with Monster Energy Drink on your chest. Carry nuts and bolts with you and drop them on the heads of an unsuspecting crowd. Heck, they paid for it, they should get something to show for it. Occasionally slow to a halt and do not move for months. Repeat as necessary.
Where: MGM Grand, 3799 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: $25
Info: 891-7254
Tangerine
DJ Jazzy Jeff. $10,000 for sexiest and scariest costumes.
Our suggestion: A Las Vegas reality show. Have a friend follow you around with a video camera. Do every stereotypical Las Vegas activity you can think of. Get really drunk, gamble all your money away, hire some hookers and then bare your soul to the camera in as self-serving, attention-getting a way as possible.
Where: TI, 3300 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: $25 men, $20 ladies
Info: 894-7580
Foundation Room
Fourth annual Dante's Masquerade Paradiso. $666 prize for best costume.
Our suggestion: Disgruntled newcomer. Your regular clothes are fine since this costume relies on attitude. Simply complain to everyone within earshot about smoking, housing prices, gambling, the heat, the cold, the food, the lack of culture and the prevalence of personal firearms. Be sure to add everything was better "back home."
Where: Mandalay Bay, 3950 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 11 p.m.
Price: $30, local ladies free
Info: 632-7631
Tao Lounge
Thriller with DJ 5ive. Prizes for the best, sexiest and most '80s costumes.
Our suggestion: Ex-Henderson hillbilly. Wear a tuxedo or evening gown and as much jewelry as your body can bear. Smoke cigars lit from $100 bills. If anyone asks how you got your money, smile and tell them you bought your house in 1972.
Where: Venetian, 3355 Las Vegas Blvd. S.
When: 10 p.m.
Price: Free
Info: 388-8588